By ali456 - 01/12/2013 15:16 - United Kingdom - Dudley
ali456 tells us more.
For those who are saying what he did was 'quite fishy', I have to agree. His excuse was, and I quote, "I only realised I had to pick you up half way through the journey, and there was no point turning back". I'm currently not speaking to him, for pretty obvious reasons, and he's now staying at his parents house. The reason I 'normally wouldn't have minded' is because if I wasn't pregnant, and if it wasn't raining, I easily could've caught the bus or walked home and sorted him out afterwards! He is also friends with his ex, and I've met her and spoken to her on quite casual terms before. And for the people who called me a 'chump' and said that I 'shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place', thank you - I'll keep it in mind for next time!
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I would still be pissed off even if I weren't pregnant. And to blow you off for the ex! The fool! Not even worth your time OP.
I don't know, but something about this story just doesn't sound right... Or, I mean, HIS story. What's he doing LEAVING you in this condition and just up and driving two hours away with his ex girlfriend? Fishy.
For those who are saying what he did was 'quite fishy', I have to agree. His excuse was, and I quote, "I only realised I had to pick you up half way through the journey, and there was no point turning back". I'm currently not speaking to him, for pretty obvious reasons, and he's now staying at his parents house. The reason I 'normally wouldn't have minded' is because if I wasn't pregnant, and if it wasn't raining, I easily could've caught the bus or walked home and sorted him out afterwards! He is also friends with his ex, and I've met her and spoken to her on quite casual terms before. And for the people who called me a 'chump' and said that I 'shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place', thank you - I'll keep it in mind for next time!
Definitely look into this, and make sure he's not cheating on you. By the sounds of it, it really looks like he is, but don't jump to conclusions!
He is cheating open your eyes. He forgot he had to pick His pregnant girlfriend up. Really?!?
@109 and 101 Maybe he is. But there can also be a thousand other reasons. In pretty much all of them though it was awful from him to let OP pregnant under the rain, and he deserve his treatment (except if he needed more time than he thought to make her the best surprise of her life, with a holiday to Hawai where he will ask her to marry him in an incredible romantic way for instance ^^). But overall, yeah, he may be cheating on her. But he may also not be. Hell, I would like to think that there are more chance that he isn't. I also would like to think it's preferable to have a bit of faith in other people (not too much either "It's not what you think, she was just having a painfull back, so I innocentely offered her a massage, and it's a really warm day so we were naked. Then I slipped repetedly for 10 minutes, that's all honey !"). I've been on the other side of the "You talked to a girl you must be cheating on me !" it brings to nothing good. And I never cheated. I also never let my pregnant girlfriend wait 2 hours in the rain either ^^. Anyway, good luck with that OP, right now your boyfriend doesn't seems to be the best guy on earth, but I hope it's just a once time thing, and that he is more clumsy that awful ! Congratulations for the baby too !
@116: There's a pretty significant difference between "You talked to another girl, you're obviously cheating!" and "You left me waiting pregnant in the rain for two and a half hours while you hung out with your ex-girlfriend."
People saying that you shouldn't have gotten pregnant before getting married need to remember that this is the 21st century. They are free to go live with the Amish if they think like that.
It doesn't mean he's cheating. Some people can stay friends with their exes- I'm still close friends with one of my exes and we hang out regularly. Just because the girl was his ex doesn't mean anything happened. But whether he was cheating or not, that was a seriously dick move. Even if it was an honest mistake, you have every right to be angry, OP. He was inconsiderate, and that's especially not okay when you're pretty heavily pregnant.
@121 Of course it's not the same. But it seems he didn't hide he was with his ex, he was just an a**hole/pathetic about his way to deal with the situation. Doesn't mean for sure, or probably that he is cheating. Doesn't mean he isn't either. She can be (and it seems she is ^^) mad at him for the waiting under the rain while pregnant situation. And the fact that he was with his ex can't help. But she can't throw a "You were cheating" without more clue. She can be extra-careful about his relationship with his ex though. My exemple wasn't to say it's the same situation, just that being accused of cheating isn't something that should be done easily. In my case (still not a comparison, just an exemple of how it could turn), I was accused of it nearly everytime I talked to a girl. I love my girlfriend at the time, but I cared about my friends, so at the end, I hid myself to talk to them. That was pathetic, and I should have told my girfriend that nothing good could come out of a relationship were she was the only girl I could talk to, but I was in love, afraid to lose her, stupid, so I didn't, and well... It didn't work out well =D. Actually it ended with her cheating on me... Ironic ^^
I agree, very fishy, not necessarily cheating as some people are saying but there definitely may be something there that shouldn't be surely this girl has other friends, someone else going to the wedding or access to public transport also should have turned back or called you to apologize or something once he realized either way hope it all works out ok OP and he better be a ******* amazing dad to make up for this
If you and your SO can come to a conclusion by talking it out, then that would be the best solution. But if you feel that even if you let it slide you'll be left forever wondering whether he cheated or not...just ask him to get some pictures of his ex at the wedding. Photographers usually get photos of the guests too, the dates and time should be written somewhere so you can make sure they match his story, and since his ex is a friend of his I'm sure she wouldn't mind giving him a copy of a few photos to clear things up between you two. Of course the whole "prove you didn't cheat on me" is not usually a method I would suggest (it shows a lack of trust, and sometimes a controlling side to one of the partners) I feel this situation is fishy enough to warrant it. And if he really cares about you and it was an honest (but dick) mistake, he will do his best to re-establish the trust in your relationship.
I don't think it's so much people being old school belief as it is smart to get financial stability and not be stuck with a disappeared dad. They don't have to be married, but seeing how they obviously were a couple who believed in marriage it wasn't the best thing. But on the other hand it's no ones business and that shouldn't be commented on at all especially since the boyfriend decided to marry the pregnant girlfriend (or decided to marry and then got pregnant) I hate kids so good luck OP.
Other people have No right to judge you for being pregnant with this man's kid! Don't listen to those comments.
OP I have to say if your fiancé is still "friends" with his ex, 9 times out of 10 he is cheating. Granted he could be the one not cheating, but if he forgot to pick up his pregnant fiancée in favor of his ex girlfriend, the odds are not in your favor. When you do talk to him again I would suggest you tell him that hanging out with his ex is not something you are comfortable with and that if he does continue to see her alone, then you need to rethink your relationship with him. Even if you are pregnant.
Who cares if he cheated or not? He's an ahole either way.
"No point turning back"?!?!?! Seriously???
Aww I hope u don't catch a cold that was mean to just leave
Run forrest run!
Pre-wedding jitters maybe
Are you sure you want to marry him?
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Wow he just sounds like an inconsiderate asshole...
That's terrible, people like that are not worht your time OP