"He bought a $3000 ring" and "I don't want a massive rock." Um. It's a ring. How the heck do you justify spending that much on a ring, and say you don't want anything big? If he makes $60k, that's 5% of his yearly income...on a freaking 2 inch piece of metal...hell, you could buy a ridiculously high end computer for that much, and it would actually be USEFUL. I would never want a ring that cost more than a couple hundred dollars, tops. It's just so impractical, and it doesn't make any difference in the meaning. I'd rather have no ring than a huge waste of money that I'd be too afraid to wear for fear of losing it.

Ok, knowing that he'd ALREADY bought it, THEN asked you for half, that changes my opinion, and I will say that does make him a cheap ass. My husband didn't have a ring when he proposed - he didn't make much money, and knew I would want to pick my own anyhow...(I'd stated as much before)..so I didn't have any problem paying half, since it was my choice, etc. If your guy had asked you to pay for half in those circomstances, I'd understand, but after already buying it, yeah, that makes him cheap. Be sure to have a clear conversation on how the money aspect of your life is going to work after you get married! Is he expecting to match your income in a joint fund and keep the rest for himself? Or are you sharing both salaries equally? Does he have a lot of debt, and that's why he wants you to pay half? Make sure you find out before you're paired up for life!

What a romantic!

"He bought a $3000 ring which was more than enough for me. It's beautiful. I don't want a massive rock." 3000 dollars is A LOT for engagement ring. and yes, i know, the whole engagement ring tradition that it should be worth at least 2-3 months salary, but I find that absolutely ridiculous. If you want a ring that pricey, you should be required to pay for part of it. and honestly, you don't even need a ring to be engaged.

I would disagree. From what the OP said, it sounds like he is financially stable, especially since she pays half the bills. I really don't see a reason for him to ruin the romance of the proposal by asking her to split it. After all, the bride and her family usually pay for the wedding, which is 10X more expensive. Now, if he wasn't financially stable I would be more understanding, but if he was going to be so cheap he should have just gotten a cheaper ring.

OP never said she required or even expected a $3000 ring. And if her fiance couldn't afford the whole thing, he should have got something a little more in his price range without EXPECTING her to pay half of what is essentially HER gift. Would you buy a Christmas present and ask the person you give it to to pay for half of it? No. You'd get something you can afford.

Just read the rest of your comments. Seriously, have a major talk about money with this guy. If you're paying for ALL the groceries, MORE THAN HALF of the dates, and equal amounts of everything else, you're actually paying more than your fair share, and you only make 1/3 of his salary. With the ring - I think at this point, I'd say no, you won't go halfsies. You didn't have a say in what he picked, how much he spent, etc., so why should you pay half? What happens if you don't get married - will he want you to pay him for "his half" or will he refund you for yours?

I agree with 146...because you had no say in picking out the ring, you had no say in what 1/2 of it would cost. If this was something you discussed before, maybe it would be different. No matter how much you love the ring, being asked to pay for something you didn't "want" doesn't seem fair. Maybe you would have picked a $3,000 ring anyway, or maybe you would have found a $1,000 ring you loved just as much. I would consider asking him to pay for half of the wedding then, because unless you have a relatively small, conservative wedding, you'll be paying more than $3,000 for it...

Technically, cubic zirconium is a crystal made of the element zirconium, and Diamonds are crystals of carbon. Although you are right in one respect, without a mass spectrometer, you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

And before you all tear me a new one, I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just nerdy when it comes to chemistry. I also know there are grammar errors, but I didn't realize in time to edit them out of the comment.

as someone with both rings, diamonds take much more wear and tear. if you go with CZ don't expect to be able to work on cars with it. It is a weaker stone, and I scratched mine replacing an alternator. And as for cheaper, I've never understood expensive rings anyways. we have a place near us that sells rings for close to wholesale and "guarantees to appraise for at least double." My engagement/wedding set cost under $1,000... the appraisal for insurance valued the set at around $2,200. I know a bunch of people who look down on the place because "its like shopping at good will"

Thank you!! You are one of the few non materialistic women here!

I would be okay with paying for half the ring if they asked beforehand. From the way OP worded it, it seems that he bought her the ring, proposed and said "Pay all or half." The guy would be gone in a heartbeat if they pulled that. If he told me beforehand that he didn't have the money to pay it all, and I had the cash, I'd pay, but as the OP herself said: "He makes $60,000 a year. I make $20,000. He bought a $3000 ring which was more than enough for me. It's beautiful. I don't want a massive rock. I don't spend all his money. I support myself. We live together. I pay half the rent, groceries for both of is, and over half the dates we go on. I'm independent and don't mind spending money on someone I love. I just thought maybe the engagement ring could be the one thing he buys for me. I am old fashioned. I'll be paying for the wedding." I think she contributes enough financially for so little salary per year. Paying half on that ring would be around a month's income for her, while his income is the ring and then some.