Geek: Today, my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop and I...

By Myriam - 22/03/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop and I can pick it up later and I said ok. I stop by her house later and no one answers. The next-door neighbor says that she left to go live with her mom. She lives in Detroit. I live in Maine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 312

You deserved it 10 523

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Always call first

By Cat - 02/12/2020 08:06

Today, I went to visit my aunt who lives 6 hours away from me. Her car was missing from her driveway, but she's unemployed and barely leaves the house. Turns out, she moved in with her new boyfriend and didn't tell anyone, so I had to drive 6 hours back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 494

Get a grip

By Hopelesshomeless - 12/03/2013 18:35 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 200

You deserved it 2 928

Adopt, don't shop

By Dognapped - 20/03/2022 04:00

Today, I went to pick up my dog from a friend's place since she agreed to watch him while I went out of state for Spring Break. I arrived at her apartment. She’s gone and the apartment was vacated. She won’t answer her phone or texts, and vanished from all social media. I’m still making payments on the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 308

Landlords gonna landlord

By katurday - 03/11/2009 15:59 - United States

Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 492

You deserved it 6 463

Ambien conversations are the worst

By Anonymous - 24/09/2020 23:02

Today, my close friend messaged me, asking if she could still move in. I don't remember the conversation we had saying that she could move in in the first place. I live in a one bedroom apartment. I have no idea what to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 219

Where are you?

By LongDriveNoSleep - 24/05/2016 10:38 - United States - Washington

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 151

You deserved it 1 359

By me - 20/12/2010 02:26 - Bulgaria

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 5 650

By DriveMeNot - 27/10/2010 00:02 - United States

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 704

You deserved it 7 361

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 04:04 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 044

You deserved it 2 918

By fjsinedniend - 28/10/2015 01:52 - United States - Missoula

Today, I was having a conversation with a new friend when she remembered she needed to grab something from her car. I don't know where she parked, but it's been two and a half hours and she's still gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 580

You deserved it 2 258

z_vet 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 12:18

Laptop is a very personal thing, like a lingerie i must say. Why to give it to anyone at all? Find the bitch and smack her down.

hidude12 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 12:32

funny how you start it off with "my friend" she doesnt sound too friendly

Comments

volleyballgirl16 0

Friday 5 June 2009 20:26

That's a bitch move

speedydrumstix 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 2:51

go maine. we're a bunch of krazys.

Bullshet 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 0:35

Call the cops and get a new friend.

Kay_Ell_Dee 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 4:02

Hell naw! She hi-jacked your laptop! What a bitch! I hope you found her

Quet 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 4:40

#33: stop being so paranoid it's a lot harder than you think to get viruses and most of the time they barely do anything. I bet you have a Mac too.

Quet 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 4:43

HEY NUMBER 44 GET Linux

lolipopprincess0 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 7:50

nice "friend" she is

Jbiebs82 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 15:13

Call her, ask her to bring your laptop back to maine for sex

kasmikali 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 23:34

if my friend asked for my laptop I'd tell her to **** off and go play in traffic. you save that stuff for your best friends instead.

chicknugget5 4

Saturday 21 August 2010 7:05

cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese is yummy:)

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The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 125

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 111

You deserved it 3 775

The Top

Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 9 298

Today, I hate the government for starting talking about vaccine passports and mandating the Covid-19 vaccine, because I almost had my wife convinced to go get it, and now she's all, "I'm not doing something they are telling me I have to do. I'm not a sheep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 363

Today, my family and I ran into an older man my parents knew. He continually asked me questions like do you play football, have you started shaving yet, etc. I thought he was joking. He told my parents I had grown into quite a young man. I am a girl and he wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 510

You deserved it 4 888

Today, on my long-awaited vacation, I got a phone call from my sister. Her childhood friend died. She bawled on the phone, and my plans were ruined. My husband said it was selfish of her to do such a thing when she knew we were on vacation, so she ramped up the drama times ten. She and her friend used to bully me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 381

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 638

You deserved it 3 110

Today, my brother got sick with a stomach bug. He didn’t even quit his game to throw up in the toilet and instead threw up straight on the carpet. It sat there for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 157