Miscellaneous: Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black...

By Anonymous - 03/10/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 623

You deserved it 6 336

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Same thing different taste

By nic - 01/04/2009 20:06 - United States

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 741

You deserved it 120 477

By valene5687 - 27/01/2016 05:20 - United States - Gretna

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 396

You deserved it 5 449

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 251

By chinchilla4404 - 02/08/2011 14:17 - United States

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 136

You deserved it 72 223

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 03:23 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 783

You deserved it 17 569

By doneanddone - 28/02/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 779

You deserved it 8 746

By Anonymous - 14/12/2012 23:12 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 878

You deserved it 2 651

By Misterhippo - 02/09/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 091

You deserved it 3 084

By Anonymous - 29/03/2016 16:27 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was working out and doing box jumps. My friend thought it would be funny to kick the box aside as I tried to jump onto it. Now I have 2 broken teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 404

You deserved it 1 563

By Ashley - 07/10/2013 06:11 - United States - Belmont

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 281

You deserved it 8 083

TheKingDon 2

Saturday 3 October 2009 23:08

You should have legally killed him. That would show him not to make stupid ******* jokes.

xxmollyxx 25

Saturday 3 October 2009 23:07

Well, that is funny :P

Comments

MusicIsEpic 10

Monday 30 July 2012 23:12

I really doubt he'll think it's funny when you report him and make him pay your medical bill.

MusicIsEpic 10

Monday 30 July 2012 23:12

I really doubt he'll think it's funny when you report him and make him pay your medical bill.

remixedmouse 0

Friday 24 August 2012 17:10

Pussy its called a 12 gauge

Blavock 12

Tuesday 10 December 2013 22:06

Sue your friend

LewisInce 5

Saturday 7 June 2014 22:56

what a dick

DeadPixel4 29

Thursday 12 June 2014 5:23

I would have stabbed him and called the cops, before I knew it was my friend of course.

Jack_Me_Off_Jerk 5

Friday 6 February 2015 6:34

hahahahaha......hahahaha

zykrithium 22

Tuesday 10 March 2015 0:25

Some friend...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 870

You deserved it 43 620

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 2 297

Today, it was still easier for me to get an engineering PhD than it is to get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 688

You deserved it 3 023

Today, I was playing basketball in our company gym. I took a shot from half court, and at that exact moment, an executive walked into the gym with an important potential client. My shot bounced off the side of the backboard, off some bleachers, and right into the client's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 680

You deserved it 3 713

Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently, somebody saw me. I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 091

You deserved it 28 215

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 634

You deserved it 6 000

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 783

You deserved it 55 681

Same thing different taste

Stuck

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