Miscellaneous: Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots"...

By Hoggiebear - 05/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 391

You deserved it 5 369

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 14:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 795

You deserved it 2 848

By BYUwildchild - 17/12/2010 16:23 - United States

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 953

You deserved it 3 529

By GeneralElement - 19/02/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 923

You deserved it 3 659

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 245

You deserved it 3 701

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 13 507

By balletteacher - 08/09/2012 20:32 - United States

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 2 585

By mafiaguy800 - 27/08/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 152

Clean up

By Anonymous - 19/01/2024 03:00 - United States - Cary

Today, I realized that my lack of body hygiene reached a new high when I discovered a pimple growing on my penis, which I now know is genital acne. It hurts to sit down or touch my penis in any way. The worst part is that I am only thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 773

By Anonymous - 14/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 244

You deserved it 6 774

Spotted

By Bec99 - 19/04/2020 17:00

Today, the pimples on my face are finally clearing up. They seem to have migrated to my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 142

cudi504 4

Wednesday 5 October 2011 22:06

How did you let them figure that out?

Sub_Zero_is_God 13

Wednesday 5 October 2011 22:08

at least you have a big dick.

Comments

FaceCramps 4

Thursday 6 October 2011 19:45

so when ppl give bjs do they suck your back?

tolebooth 3

Thursday 6 October 2011 23:48

It might bea sign that you like dick

tessa1110001 12

Friday 7 October 2011 2:17

That's ******* disgusting

Loda13 0

Friday 7 October 2011 3:22

At least it's large.

sierralovesyou 0

Friday 7 October 2011 5:36

Oh honey... Poor you....

iluvdavid 3

Friday 7 October 2011 6:08

Hey at least its large.

xxsourpatchxx 4

Saturday 8 October 2011 15:41

gross! lol its funny tho

Masterrleee 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 20:01

please post a pic

foreverandalways_fml 4

Monday 10 October 2011 5:54

Win.

xxMR_SPARKLExx 1

Tuesday 11 October 2011 1:28

troll my friend said mine was a happy face

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The Top

Today, I came home from class to find a nasty note on my roommate's toaster oven. Apparently, cleaning it once a week isn't enough, and she wants it cleaned right after using it, which she never told me all school year. I'm banned from using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 330

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

The Top

Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the "dead" man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 42 229

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 41 935

Today, a few days after I let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life and we used melted chocolate, I've now got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life, so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 2 450

Today, my 3 year old daughter's Halloween costume finally got delivered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 001

You deserved it 2 104

Today, I got a well paying job that requires me to drive around and present a product to potential customers. After going out for a victory meal with friends, I came home to find my car broken into, and my GPS stolen. I need it for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 336

You deserved it 4 394

Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 3 122

Same thing different taste

Subconscious

Clean up

Spotted

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