Intimacy: Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent...

By umm - 08/12/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 853

You deserved it 3 353

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Charming dude

By unzucht - 30/05/2012 16:45 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 733

You deserved it 2 492

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 183

By shades - 09/01/2012 03:43 - United Kingdom

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 382

You deserved it 3 426

By gottalovefriends - 23/04/2012 04:04 - United States - Atkinson

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 960

You deserved it 4 911

By derranged - 22/04/2009 18:24 - China

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 219

You deserved it 73 487

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 468

You deserved it 3 387

Dad! No!

By Ginger - 08/07/2017 16:30 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I got married. My dad wanted to see me before the ceremony in my dress. The dress I wore was not my usual kind of dress, strapless. The first thing my dad said, "Ginger! You've got boobs!" Not exactly the father-daughter moment I'd envisioned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 165

You deserved it 545

Thanks Dad

By Anonymous - 07/09/2018 03:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my father told all of us that he eloped with his girlfriend of two months. I'm engaged to the woman's daughter, and have been engaged since before they met, but now my family is making fun of me for marrying my "sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 627

You deserved it 226

Nice try, Patricia

By Anonymous - 25/08/2022 18:00

Today, my future mother-in-law tried to blackmail me out of the wedding with photographs of me with another man. Her son and I met on a swingers website and we both have multiple sexual partners, so we had to tell her the truth. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 383

MIL squared

By Anonymous - 28/12/2021 05:01

Today, I met my future in-laws, two lesbian ladies. Can you imagine that, two mothers-in-law judging me for daring to want to marry their precious baby boy? By the time we left, it felt like they’d extracted every iota of information about me through my skin with sandpaper and rusty barbecue tongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 888

k43L1 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 2:39

Your future husband was ok with that? O.o If it happened to me, my bf would have flipped and I would have slapped the guy & been disgusted. NO ONE touches me without my consent. but that's just me. You could just laugh it off?

KamilleBlack 3

Wednesday 9 December 2009 1:48

Don't marry into it. The End. Or don't invite him to the wending.

Comments

WeAllHaveFmls 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:01

Wtf is motorboarted?

terror_twins 0

Monday 4 January 2010 6:29

haha That seems slightly wrong

Serendipiti 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 4:49

MOTORBOATED: face shaken in boobs, as evidenced in wedding crashers, and in superpoke on facebook example: The stripper motorboated Julie. curtisy(however u spell it) of URBANDICTIONARY.COM

RockVolley09 8

Saturday 4 February 2012 0:46

"You motorboating son of a bitch. You old sailor you."

Ashley121645 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 8:45

eww that sucks

Jaygirl 0

Friday 8 January 2010 4:09

fyl don't hug him anymore

PeacefulWicked 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 2:12

If I was the son I'd be so pissed off.

whathefrick 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 3:00

Okay, child molesterrrrr...

ash92_fml 0

Friday 5 February 2010 14:23

you live in texas? you should be used to this kind of thing.

lola2309 3

Friday 5 February 2010 21:23

what does this have to do with being from texas?

Xxkaylababy 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 3:36

motorboated?

allyj 0

Sunday 18 April 2010 3:32

I can see there is an abundance of idiots on FML! Seriously, what the ****? If you don't get a word or phrase, LOOK IT UP. It's not difficult. And if you don't get it and you're under 16, GET OFF THE INTERNET.