Love: Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular...

By Derp-A-Herp - 27/05/2011 05:46 - United States

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 658

You deserved it 55 309

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Same thing different taste

By GAGirl1 - 01/05/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 049

You deserved it 7 227

By dating a fucking idiot - 08/09/2012 19:16 - United States

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 896

You deserved it 13 910

¿Dónde estás?

By Anonymous - 09/03/2015 14:24 - Spain - Zaragoza

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 885

You deserved it 4 851

By xXshitface4uXx - 25/07/2014 22:46 - New Zealand - Rotorua

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 847

You deserved it 9 122

By tina - 17/08/2010 12:30 - Canada

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend who'd told me he was going on a family vacation to Mexico. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 177

You deserved it 4 101

By sadpoorlady - 22/06/2013 09:22 - United Kingdom - Appley Bridge

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 887

You deserved it 5 011

Culture wars

By FrustratedTutor - 21/08/2015 20:00 - United States - Andover

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 2 832

Kinda true, though

By Ponce de Leon's folly - 08/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancée informed me she wants us to go on a cruise for her birthday. I replied, "Ahhh cruise ships, the Walmart of the Seven Seas." She threw a mixer at my feet and told me I ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 116

I heard that

By Anonymous - 25/04/2011 09:20 - Ireland

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 4 498

By Grrrawrwtf - 03/06/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 947

You deserved it 2 463

kidclarke 15

Friday 27 May 2011 12:00

I'm surprised you didn't say Disneyland.

jennifer93 0

Friday 27 May 2011 12:10

Yeahhh math isnt my best subject either ;p

Comments

baby_gore 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:02

laaaame

smitty2461012 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:13

surprised you didn't say north America

Lizzylibeth 2

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:52

Try Tortuga.

thekade 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 6:26

Last time i checked its tortuga not moroco, btw im from texas and id like to see you call half of us dumb, if you didnt know we are bigger than you

koreangirl92 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 6:55

that's just sad...

BowlerGirl_18 2

Saturday 28 May 2011 6:56

uhmm Tortuga would be one lol

MajPainInTheAss 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 7:22

I'm in the same boat with having a genius significant other

hanShotFirst 2

Saturday 28 May 2011 8:30

maybe you meant Maracaibo...

quite_bored 9

Saturday 28 May 2011 18:18

That would still be wrong.

antoinemartinez 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 9:26

I don't get it

kapippenger 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 17:01

I don't understand how this is an FML

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The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 125

Nooooo, I'm not interviewing Candy Staton, and nooooo I'm not going to talk about the Avengers but guys this isn't 9gag so let me introduce you to the fresh new artist we're welcoming today! She's a lovely lady who lives in Vancouver and she's the au...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 2 347

Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 919

You deserved it 11 023

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 908

You deserved it 9 241

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 931

You deserved it 3 629

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 961

You deserved it 2 623

Today, I opened my new contact lenses for the first time in a month and accidentally dropped one, only to watch it disappear helplessly down the drain. Give a name to the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 167