Health: Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 3 321

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Same thing different taste

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 30 935

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 036

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 073

By Anonymous - 06/09/2018 14:30

Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 576

You deserved it 275

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 230

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 281

You deserved it 303

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 152

You deserved it 2 694

Two rooms, two atmospheres

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 16:58

Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 151

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

Next

Top comments

EnterSandman_fml 20

Wednesday 13 February 2013 0:54

Come on, almost every guy is a genital man.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Wednesday 13 February 2013 0:41

Don't forget to flush...

Comments

Satoaoi 13

Wednesday 13 February 2013 7:52

that's why you do research about the place your eating at and it's food history

upallnight11 19

Wednesday 13 February 2013 12:04

That's the definition of a shitty situation, but you can always share the toiletseat. Let's make it quality time.

abu4u 26

Wednesday 13 February 2013 12:25

Ladies first!

djxerxes9000 18

Wednesday 13 February 2013 12:51

Wait, girls poop!?

rvnclwprfct731 13

Wednesday 13 February 2013 15:10

That's when one of you uses the tub and you never speak of it again.

whY402Jay 12

Wednesday 13 February 2013 17:39

I'm guessing you never saw that movie "Bridesmaids".

prongs54 10

Thursday 14 February 2013 0:00

Might have to pull a bridesmaids and use the sink

slapsface 10

Thursday 14 February 2013 3:21

Shit happens

Sputnikspak 13

Thursday 14 February 2013 9:32

92: My brother doesn't like sushi rice either. My boyfriend didn't, but after a few tries, now he loves it. It can be an acquired taste for some people, but some people downright hate it. When I first tried sushi, it was the pickled ginger that threw me off. It tasted like soap! But now I like it. Cooked seafood also awesome. I made a tasty lobster bisque earlier this week. Dill and saffron, beautiful.

The_F3rris 11

Thursday 14 February 2013 17:22

To the sink! To the sink! Hope theres no chunks!

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I agree, your life sucks 58 112

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Today, I'm trying to quit smoking because I'm actually running low on money. I just realized that I'm actually spending a lot more money and gaining more weight by eating junk food to relieve my anxiety than what I used to spend buying packs of cigarettes. I can't afford a psychologist, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 251

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 550

You deserved it 4 611

Today, in my orchestra, I was one of the 2 instruments that starts first. The conductor raised his hands, but while I was waiting for the preparatory beats, I blinked. When I opened my eyes, the conductor had already started. I started late, in front of a thousand people. The conductor is still angry with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 558