Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school....

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 434

You deserved it 5 059

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 08:01 - Mexico

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 403

You deserved it 65 856

Knight

By Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 234

You deserved it 1 924

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 698

You deserved it 60 166

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 981

You deserved it 7 659

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 071

You deserved it 2 097

By notacreep - 16/05/2009 08:39 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 216

You deserved it 4 076

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 117

You deserved it 10 956

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 331

You deserved it 68 736

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 019

You deserved it 9 608

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 42 252

sarbear293 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 2:27

So.. Is it true?

chasingmountains 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 2:31

Good things come in small packages

Comments

perdix 29

Sunday 22 January 2012 5:55

That's why we don't shower after gym class. Word gets around.

JediScum 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 10:41

Perdix! I have to say your comments are always fun. I always look forward to reading and trying to comprehend the foul depths of your double meanings. Such fun!

Cartera 10

Sunday 22 January 2012 18:13

!!Nutrider!! lol jk

bs0092 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 6:01

Chike a bitch!!

SettoFail 9

Sunday 22 January 2012 7:33

Fail.

BullletProof 5

Sunday 22 January 2012 6:11

LOL sorry, i know some girls like that XD But FYI, the size of your dick doesnt need to be massive. ******'s come both big and small too. I for one can't comfortibly wear a slim-fit tampon. so don't worry about it - not every girl out there is a loose hoe bag.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Sunday 22 January 2012 6:32

Um, I use regulars. That doesn't make me a loose hoebag, thank you very much.

vturbz91 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 6:13

Aha micropenis .... Search it up lol

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 22 January 2012 6:13

I feel your pain about having a small penis, OP. I'm pretty much self conscious about my size. Ignore that idiot and confront your girlfriend about it.