Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 918

You deserved it 12 701

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Same thing different taste

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 685

You deserved it 60 137

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Spicy

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 144

You deserved it 36 928

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 960

You deserved it 7 658

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 816

You deserved it 7 966

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 5 456

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 1 235

By anon - 18/01/2012 18:29 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 5 604

Observational comedy

By JackOLantern2099 - 17/12/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 368

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 068

You deserved it 4 505

By what - 25/09/2013 14:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 8 832

Next

Top comments

killabee 0

Friday 27 August 2010 18:56

So? Maybe it's just me but giant testes really aren't a must-have quality in a man.

just_nicole 1

Friday 27 August 2010 18:54

pahahahaha tht sux, but it made me laugh(:

Comments

astroid714 0

Friday 27 August 2010 20:35

lmao dude ...be lyk "honey my feace is up here" still pretty sad

unmadebed 0

Friday 27 August 2010 20:37

She was joking.

Takashiro 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:02

rofl what a win! :D

CovertMilitance 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:02

Maybe she was horny?

Xavi89 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:17

wow! sounds like she was setting you up from the start!

hottie2hottie 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:26

hehe(;

timmytim1984 0

Friday 27 August 2010 21:26

That was funny as hell.. But I like what the one guy said about how old is your g/f asking about the moon ! LMFAO ! Grow up FML'rs ! Bahahahaha

kittiexrawrz 0

Friday 27 August 2010 22:17

your girlfriend... is an idiot.

rwctkd95 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:09

no ****

babygurl753 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:11

haha loser

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 225

You deserved it 6 581

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 600

You deserved it 4 030

Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 125

Today, my great grandfather got arrested. Why? He is still shell shocked from World War II, so when we went to a hibachi grill, he didn't want any of those, "Damn Japs" to touch his food, and our chef didn't take too kindly to his verbal assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 481

Today, I went to get my first acupuncture. The doctor was a cute Korean woman, so I tried to start a conversation. When she pricked me with a needle near the tailbone, I involuntarily let one loose and saw her gag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 140

You deserved it 2 010

Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 398