By anon - 18/01/2012 18:29 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 575
You deserved it 5 604
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Top comments

dogpup4 23

This really doesn't seem as bad when you don't misread boyfriend as brother. Like I did.

392 3

Comments

moop256 10

And just think if he was circumcised he couldn't do that. HOORAY FOR FORESKIN!!!! :D

65 17
zombicidal 11

there's a movie called one eyed monster about ron Jeremys dismembered penis being possessed by aliens and killing people

37 6
MichellinMan 20

16- what the hell?

62 1
Bstaut 8

I will never again be able to look at Sauron the same way.

31 1
moop256 10

Is it because you be using your penis to look at him now 68?

18 0
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1

Rip off his eyelids!! If ya know what I mean!!!**wink wink**

4 18
muppetslover 11

My boyfriend would probably do the same thing.... Lol I will never understand the mind of men...

7 12
oXali 0

I call mine "Lil Jong"...

5 6
tx_beast 5

I just laughed my ass off reading this fml.

9 5
nnguyen1995 0

Get braces and give him a circumcision yourself xD *in reference to a previous FML*

4 21
praetor_fml 3

I very much agree with that.

0 0
markrs 0

Did he make it talk too...

20 1
ClassyCommando 13

"Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a sense of humour. FML" Really, OP?

60 6
Trix_Disorder 20

I agree, he IS a keeper, no sarcasm.

22 1
csickcman 11

^ NOOO! HE'S PURE EVIL!!! RUNN!!!

2 22
dogpup4 23

This really doesn't seem as bad when you don't misread boyfriend as brother. Like I did.

392 3
AlaskanEskimo34 0

Any guy who plays with his penis has issues. Call me half empty, but come on! This is making men look bad!

Spinnmaster 1

Wrong ^... I play with my penis all the time!

93 6
MichellinMan 20

27- so me slappin my penis around makes me have have issues...? crap...

49 6
GoW_Chick 14

I think every guy "plays" with his penis.

69 5
AlaskanEskimo34 0

************ is completely different then pretending your dick is "the Eye of Sauron" if that's what your implying

12 64
GoW_Chick 14

I don't see how a guy naming his penis, and messing around makes them look bad, most guys do it because they are bored, or for a laugh. What's wrong with that?

54 4
AlaskanEskimo34 0

I respect your opinion but I am just speaking mine. Why would OP post this as a FML if she thought it was funny. If your boyfriend did that would you be thinking "my boyfriend is so funny" because i would be thinking "holy shit i cant take my boyfriend seriously" it depends on the relationship i guess.

7 50
TexasMud 8

Who the hell do you hang out with

28 2
hugsandisses 6

75 you weren't telling your opinion, you were making a statement.

26 7
downtime 12

76, I think the answer to that question is the Westboro Baptist Church...

33 3
chelseaaababyyy 17

75 - personally, i would think it was hilarious. but that's just me..

19 2
AlaskanEskimo34 0

It's too cold to play with your penis in Alaska, my opinion is biased I'll admit.

41 9
ArmyxWife 5

That's the funniest cutest thing I have ever heard lol

5 9
Exeggcute 5

But seriously if a guy doesn't play with his dick their is something wrong..

16 8
TrollisMe 5

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle - yeah!

36 2
GetHardOrGoHome 7

201- he used the right form of their. There means location. Their means possession.

4 34
GetHardOrGoHome 7

Nevermind:/ I am dyslexic and my mind rearranged the sentence..... Sighh

28 6
ImanAzol 4

My wife calls mine by its god-given name. Krakatoa.

23 5
BadSuerte 0

Oh, I'm sorry. It could have been worse. Much worse. You do have my sympathy.

32 10
EatnBeef 7

That's why I keep mine chained to my thigh

11 1
thisisafunnyname 12

Op should've said that it looked like it was a hobbit's.

10 1
superHydrate 4

ah! one of those 'it's not funny when it's happening to you' thing eh!!

37 0
cradle6 13

Give him a surprise circumcision?

112 19
FirstTigerHobbes 13

OP's boyfriend: Today, I while I was sleeping, I woke up to my girlfriend trying to circumcise me, FML

35 8
ICATiger 13

49- I would suggest not trying to make reverse FMLs or ones from a comment someone made. As people tend to say stuff like. 'Oh no not another one of those stupid reverse FMLs' or ' If you ever comment again I'm going to rape you'

6 71
FirstTigerHobbes 13

72- The thumbs down, they're already here! *Runs away screaming*

19 3
angelbabyg1994 0

What does OP stand for?

12 7
mauguster 15

^^original poster I believe

10 2
angelbabyg1994 0

Thanks 85! I've always wondered...

6 2
EvilPotato 14

Alas that question will never truly be answered, as it stands for soooooo many things. Here are a few listed below: Orange Pineapple Optimus Prime Oprah's Penis Over Paris Over Par But it obviously doesn't stand for this foolish "Original Poster" you speak of. Duh.

21 3
mauguster 15

Not a problem :) and haha I like the list of "OP" possibilities

3 1
EvilPotato 14

190 thanks I like to have some originality on my side.

1 0
ICATiger 13

Hey guys I have decided to start a day care centre for kids 1-3 if you want me to en-roll your kids just send me your address and pictures of your kid.....

32 12
EvilPotato 14

Yep ICAT wants to show them them his 'Eye of Sauron'.

7 4
moop256 10

First tell me your address 17 I promise I won't call the police but think about it of you go to jail you will get more buttsex than your ass could handle. Until your sphincter tears and pops out looks like a big red ant hill. Ahhh I miss being a doctor and laughing at my patients

1 32
ShroomsOnAcid 16

30, I'd never want to be your patient.

28 1
ICATiger 13

30-no thanks I will just stick to DocBastard

26 3
moop256 10

Well luckily for you I'm only qualified to practice medicine in Iraq, Libya and Russia

3 18
TexasMud 8

Can I sign up my older siblings for this "day of care"?

7 1
afunnyterdcody 5

Haha I've got the same personality as me

1 0
MichellinMan 20

not in his nature. his "eye" is real in his own world. I kill my penis "the bald avenger."

2 2
ItsTheKing 10

Why would you kill your penis?! You need that, you know.

5 2
MichellinMan 20

88- *call-my apologies. I would cut my own face off before killing the bald avenger.

8 1
CuteDumBlonde64 11

Well that awkward...

6 20
ShroomsOnAcid 16

Well that stupid... If you're gonna post a pointless comment anyway, the least you could do is read over it.

24 1
hugsandisses 6

You know you weren't thinking about her heart when you were pressing onto her chest ..

3 1
moop256 10

A long time ago there was a holy war of circumcised vs uncircumcised penis's on an FML like this one about a guy with retracted foreskin. Don't make sirin close the comments again >:(

18 0
Timmeeh 17

There are only really a few demographics in the world who routinely circumcise; Jews, Muslims and Americans being the vast majority, followed behind at some distance by Australians and Canadians. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with circumcision, definitely not trying to start another argument about it, just attempting to correct the misconception that somehow circumcision is the norm worldwide; it's in the minority (around 70% of men in the world aren't circumcised, including the vast majority of Europe).

17 0