Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared...

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 918

You deserved it 12 701

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Same thing different taste

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 685

You deserved it 60 137

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 144

You deserved it 36 928

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 960

You deserved it 7 658

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 816

You deserved it 7 966

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 5 456

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 1 235

By anon - 18/01/2012 18:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 5 604

Observational comedy

By JackOLantern2099 - 17/12/2019 18:00

Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 368

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 068

You deserved it 4 505

By what - 25/09/2013 14:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 8 832

killabee 0

Friday 27 August 2010 18:56

So? Maybe it's just me but giant testes really aren't a must-have quality in a man.

just_nicole 1

Friday 27 August 2010 18:54

pahahahaha tht sux, but it made me laugh(:

Comments

JohnFR33M4N 0

Friday 27 August 2010 23:14

you got tiny nuts, so what? who the hell compares their sack size to each other?

hannah1203 2

Friday 27 August 2010 23:45

ha girlfriend: 1 point you: 0

jdfml90 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 0:09

Now imagine a hole this wide... *stretches, and looks at her crotch*

ImaCanuck 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 0:14

Boo hoo the size of your pool balls don't matter, it's the size of your cue stick.

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 0:20

woah, febreeze, you plug in to the wall :D

jayemdoubleyou 1

Saturday 28 August 2010 0:48

This was retarded.

Poepiepiesie 3

Saturday 28 August 2010 1:13

Imagine a ball this size as it is the sun. Now compare my feelings for you with the earth. As the earth fits around 1,000,000 times in the sun being 1/100 of it's diameter. My feelings for you when expressed in numbers are similar to a chocolate covered peanut.

TeaamJacob 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 1:25

LOL. that's funny OP xD

dancerchick303 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 1:44

dumbass girlfriend

Rashkavar 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 5:18

Umm...that's about the size of the average ********.... It's not what I'd picture when considering a ball about that size (I'd think of a table tennis/beer pong ball), but then, I'm neither horny nor particularly attracted to men.