Miscellaneous, School, Drugs and Bullying: Royal highness - FML

Royal highness

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 343

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Same thing different taste

By HappyMan - 03/08/2012 02:14 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 2 322

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 813

You deserved it 9 724

How very dare you?

By 1357katie - 19/09/2009 04:22 - Canada

Today, I told my mom about the couple of times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 728

You deserved it 6 288

Bad influence

By BigSister - 13/09/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 047

You deserved it 3 400

By a.white - 11/12/2013 11:58 - United States - Cheltenham

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 375

You deserved it 2 814

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 981

You deserved it 38 801

Placebo

By mother teresa was a cunt - 17/09/2015 14:54 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 524

You deserved it 5 458

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 18:33 - United States

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 957

You deserved it 3 067

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 665

You deserved it 2 955

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 654

You deserved it 1 581

Next

Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 21 October 2024 23:49

Jesus wept, kid. With your brains you'll be in high school until you're ready to be put in a care home.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Monday 21 October 2024 23:49

Jesus wept, kid. With your brains you'll be in high school until you're ready to be put in a care home.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Shopping Awkward Work Mental health Stressed out Health Gross Love Family Weddings AITA Am I overreacting? Phone calls Embarrassing Relatable Shoes Pranks Farts Cute Kids Parents Birthday Argument Neighbours Keys Students Wanker Intimacy Coworkers

The Top

Today, after my dad ran off 15 years ago, during which time my mom died, and I had to become my brother's legal guardian and somehow get both me and then him through university while working 4 jobs, my dad turned up on our street. He tried to flirt with me, because he didn’t recognise me. Scumbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 87

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 955

You deserved it 34 646

The Top

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 995

You deserved it 5 034

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 189

You deserved it 6 720

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 766

You deserved it 1 751

Today, I realised that I can't orgasm if I don't relax enough to let myself fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 222

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 462

You deserved it 3 217

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 303

You deserved it 2 599