Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have...

FML for mobile
Free

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 013

You deserved it 14 945

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 139

You deserved it 29 792

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 897

You deserved it 70 420

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 432

You deserved it 8 749

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 360

You deserved it 5 805

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 839

You deserved it 42 665

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 1 775

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 679

You deserved it 4 171

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 623

You deserved it 17 312

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 994

You deserved it 2 967

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 229

You deserved it 8 141

sthrr 6

Monday 21 February 2011 12:06

and she didn't feel the need to hang up? Ew..

crystal_james 0

Monday 21 February 2011 12:11

The fact that your mom was listening to you have phone sex is pretty disturbing. But YDI for using the home phone...

Comments

sk8erd 15

Tuesday 22 February 2011 5:41

why the **** wouldnt she hang up?! thats straight up creepy

feralphoenix 4

Tuesday 22 February 2011 6:23

your mom is a milf

Ceaszhar 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 6:47

damn, yo momma is a lil' freak, eh?

LanaBabii252 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 8:17

your mom is weird

Inspired22 11

Wednesday 23 February 2011 7:40

Um, yeah. I am super disturbed right now. Can't imagine how grossed out you feel! Sorry.

lex86vanorten 1

Wednesday 23 February 2011 17:08

At least your mother enjoyed your conversation with your girlfriend ???

Hardbone 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 15:29

Something is wrong with your mother!

cgovan20 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 15:35

Can't believe she listened for 13 minutes... ha ha...

teddypete13 0

Friday 25 February 2011 13:58

that happened to me before. my cell died and i couldnt find the charger. i was stupid, but seriously....

justintime66451 2

Monday 28 February 2011 8:50

two words, cell phone...

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Gross Instagram Embarrassing Love Social Media Crush Shoes Zoom Cars Music Neighbours Singing Cute My ex Transportation Awkward Work Anxiety Money Delivery Technology Relatable Intimacy NSFW Weird Poopoo peepee Health Sports Underwear

The Top

Today, after several months of starting an antidepressant at the same time as my husband, I have horrible side effects, including weight gain, drowsiness, and acne. His only side effect? He can now only achieve an orgasm through oral stimulation. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 199

Today, I got home and I saw my dad come out of the kitchen in a red silk hood. I had no idea what the hell he was doing, until I went inside and heard him upstairs say to mum, “Oh my grandma, what a big mouth you have.” Hell of a way to discover your parents like roleplay in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 249

The Top

Today, my husband forgot to log out of his laptop. Out of curiosity, I checked what was on the screen. It turns out he has his own blog where he shares all the intimate details about our sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 223

Today, I found out that my grandparents are going to take my car away and sell it because they're pissed I'm moving in with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 5 149

Today, I'm terminally ill, in a foreign country for treatment, and I was feeling hurt and sad inside, so I rang my parents to just talk, to feel warm and protected. My father told me on the phone with an indifferent tone, "Son, we're out for some shopping and getting groceries, Mom will call you back." They never did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 88

Today, I got a cute girl's number for the first time. Too bad it was because she rear ended my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 205

You deserved it 2 664

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 765

You deserved it 14 437

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 633

You deserved it 36 864