Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have...

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 988

You deserved it 14 929

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Same thing different taste

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 773

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 890

You deserved it 70 397

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 393

You deserved it 8 739

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 328

You deserved it 5 796

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 831

You deserved it 42 644

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 1 740

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 657

You deserved it 4 165

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 594

You deserved it 17 308

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 978

You deserved it 2 961

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 215

You deserved it 8 137

sthrr 6

Monday 21 February 2011 12:06

and she didn't feel the need to hang up? Ew..

crystal_james 0

Monday 21 February 2011 12:11

The fact that your mom was listening to you have phone sex is pretty disturbing. But YDI for using the home phone...

Comments

sk8erd 15

Tuesday 22 February 2011 5:41

why the **** wouldnt she hang up?! thats straight up creepy

feralphoenix 4

Tuesday 22 February 2011 6:23

your mom is a milf

Ceaszhar 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 6:47

damn, yo momma is a lil' freak, eh?

LanaBabii252 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 8:17

your mom is weird

Inspired22 11

Wednesday 23 February 2011 7:40

Um, yeah. I am super disturbed right now. Can't imagine how grossed out you feel! Sorry.

lex86vanorten 1

Wednesday 23 February 2011 17:08

At least your mother enjoyed your conversation with your girlfriend ???

Hardbone 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 15:29

Something is wrong with your mother!

cgovan20 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 15:35

Can't believe she listened for 13 minutes... ha ha...

teddypete13 0

Friday 25 February 2011 13:58

that happened to me before. my cell died and i couldnt find the charger. i was stupid, but seriously....

justintime66451 2

Monday 28 February 2011 8:50

two words, cell phone...

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

The Top

Today, I woke up super early to get ready for a wedding an hour away. I'm a bridesmaid, and also 8 months pregnant. The dress that fit me perfectly 3 days ago won't fit anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 675

You deserved it 715

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 972

You deserved it 3 619

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 924

You deserved it 5 972

Today, I made roast beef with mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. My 8-year-old daughter was crying and gagging the whole time, and eventually said between sobs, "Can't you just beat me and send me to bed hungry instead?" I have no clue where she got that idea from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 254

You deserved it 462

Today, after spending two days spiraling out of control with my thoughts and online searches over my husband not being attracted to me, and our marriage being over, I realized it was just the week before my period insanity. I get to know I'm gonna bleed when the intrusive thoughts start to win. Being a woman is so fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 186

Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 982

You deserved it 1 783