Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have...

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By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 013

You deserved it 14 945

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Same thing different taste

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 139

You deserved it 29 792

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 898

You deserved it 70 420

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 432

You deserved it 8 749

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 360

You deserved it 5 805

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 839

You deserved it 42 665

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 1 775

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 679

You deserved it 4 171

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 623

You deserved it 17 312

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 995

You deserved it 2 967

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 229

You deserved it 8 141

sthrr 6

Monday 21 February 2011 12:06

and she didn't feel the need to hang up? Ew..

crystal_james 0

Monday 21 February 2011 12:11

The fact that your mom was listening to you have phone sex is pretty disturbing. But YDI for using the home phone...

Comments

simsimma88 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 20:39

It's a bit weird that your mom listened for that long..

Irakli_1 27

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:11

Dude, does your mom that seriously interfere in your life? grow some balls man.

DevonDoesntGaf 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 19:17

That's why it's better to have physical sex rather , than phone sex ..

klx125cross 9

Saturday 15 September 2012 21:47

Why the **** did u use I'd house phone?

Lunasis 14

Thursday 17 April 2014 22:05

wow... your mom is a damn creeper

Hopein2025 14

Thursday 14 August 2014 6:59

Keep it in the bedroom

WhackTheJackal 22

Wednesday 18 March 2015 8:38

**** old phones LOL.

prince_jimmy907 12

Wednesday 27 May 2015 4:58

landline struggles

KeatonHanson 28

Thursday 4 February 2016 2:31

I don't get the point of phone sex

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The Top

Today, I called the cops on the house next to me, since they constantly make tons of noise and throw trash in my yard. Turns out they're all undocumented migrants, and now three families with little kids are getting deported. I feel like scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 275

Today, my FWB and I were on a road trip. His dumbass got us pulled over by the cops, and he decided it was the perfect moment to start fingering me. Worse yet, I got off in between visits from the cop. He took his license and ticket with his fingering hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 604

The Top

Today, I drove across three states, starting out at 4:30am, to do on-site tech work. Once I arrived, I was informed that work was scheduled tomorrow, not today, which wasn't my fault, they messed up. I lost a whole day and gas costs. I don’t get paid for this unless I do the work. I’m stuck in South Dakota. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 112

Today, exactly 19 seconds after I logged on, my boss Zoom-called me to let me know 3 people are out sick, probably until Monday, so if I wouldn’t mind doing their work as well so we don’t fall behind, within working hours, no overtime available. He wasn’t happy when I told him no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 85

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 557

You deserved it 5 438

Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 080

You deserved it 737

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 787

You deserved it 2 887

Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 951

You deserved it 99 367