Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy"...

By stun_zeed - 17/01/2017 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called my flaccid penis her "little squishy" in a voice like Dory, and became upset when I got aroused because little squishy was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 145

You deserved it 1 274

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 792

You deserved it 6 071

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 685

You deserved it 60 137

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 068

You deserved it 4 505

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 144

You deserved it 36 928

By Anonymous - 21/02/2012 19:17 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 836

You deserved it 6 394

By Brett meek - 19/02/2010 07:41 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 3 640

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 331

You deserved it 6 277

By rastafarimon - 17/04/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 176

You deserved it 8 978

I'm coming!

By anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 4 483

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:39

Just tell her when "big hard" gets his nut "little squishy" will be right back...

Spongegar123 19

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:42

You got aroused from her calling your penis "little squishy"? Lol

Comments

tapdancecolumbia 14

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:32

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Sir_Cow 17

Wednesday 18 January 2017 13:15

Because the gender tag thing is broken.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:39

Just tell her when "big hard" gets his nut "little squishy" will be right back...

Spongegar123 19

Tuesday 17 January 2017 10:42

You got aroused from her calling your penis "little squishy"? Lol

MisterEx 28

Tuesday 17 January 2017 11:57

as long as it wasn't because she said it in an underage cartoon character's voice.

DemCherries 4

Tuesday 17 January 2017 14:52

I would tbh

ashyb1705 3

Tuesday 17 January 2017 19:30

she could have been playing with it and calling it little squishy? who knows..

babyblueyes 27

Tuesday 17 January 2017 13:09

Wait.. di-did you get aroused BECAUSE she called it "little squishy"?

species4872 19

Tuesday 17 January 2017 17:27

<p> Don't worry Dory always forgets.</p>

Stuffaluffagus 25

Tuesday 17 January 2017 18:00

Is she 5 years old?

LordOfCheese 10

Tuesday 17 January 2017 19:46

Does your girlfriend happen to use ifunny?

LyricaSilvan 29

Tuesday 17 January 2017 20:12

Question, OP...why are you dating an eight-year-old?

Kehza 1

Tuesday 17 January 2017 20:12

<p>I've been there too xD </p>

dblogic 19

Wednesday 18 January 2017 0:12

Ummm, I think you both may have some issues...

Keywords

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