You're missing the girl who got so drunk she shit the bed. But given your penchant for finding women who seem to enjoy getting wasted, I'm sure it won't be long before you complete the trifecta. If I were you, I'd get the new mattress and clean sheets ready now, so you're prepared.

just stop dating my dude

Rude rebound much. Also, if you are going after women who are drunk, remember that having sex with them when they are heavily intoxicated is rape, as they are incapable of consent. But I’m guessing that doesn’t matter to you

I'd say the FML would be for your ex-girlfriend for dating a guy like you who can bring a new woman to his house just hours after breaking up with her with no remorse except for his ruined couch. You know, if you just want sex, you don't actually need to date them. And looking at your childish reactions, you'd probably do them a favor.

So... You're complaining about the fact your drunk girlfriend was being drunk so you dropped her like a bag of dogshite, picked up another drunk girl that night and are now whinging that said drunk girl puked on your sofa? Either just stop with the drunk girls or have a brutally honest conversation with yourself about why only drunk girls put up with you. Given the utter lack of any regard for the actual girls here, I'd put money on the latter...

Was this all in one day?

you take out the trash, not bring it inside