Love: Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed... - FML

By Shame - 19/09/2012 20:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 119

You deserved it 3 605

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 372

You deserved it 9 761

By DAMMit - 27/07/2009 08:12 - Australia

Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 573

You deserved it 8 498

By NoTattoo - 12/08/2015 17:50

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 397

You deserved it 2 453

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 10:48 - Canada

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 609

You deserved it 71 881

Memento

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 03:00

Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 521

Branded

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 162

Overreaching

By Entitled parents suck. - 12/10/2022 10:00

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 144

By tubby - 21/06/2012 20:28 - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 338

You deserved it 3 637

By guess I'm stuck - 16/04/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 031

You deserved it 7 737

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:43 - United States - Woodinville

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 685

You deserved it 3 707

Next

Top comments

Yousuck24 21

Thursday 20 September 2012 9:05

I would of laughed too...

gabbiechaoss 5

Thursday 20 September 2012 9:08

If she does, you can forget about doing it doggystyle. Instant mood killer.

Comments

monkiki62 5

Thursday 20 September 2012 14:41

Who cares its her body get over it. Im sure one of your tattoo ideas would be just as lame .

junkman6 22

Thursday 20 September 2012 19:19

Getting a fictional family of glittery vampires tattooed on your back is just about as low as you can go on the tattoo spectrum. And I've seen morons with snoopy tramp stamps.

CarouselHeart 11

Thursday 20 September 2012 15:06

Damn, what an idiot.

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 20 September 2012 15:29

That's outrageous. You must stop her!

onorexveritas 23

Thursday 20 September 2012 15:59

you are one lucky guy my friend. NOT!

ashcin 7

Thursday 20 September 2012 16:07

I think its time for a new girlfriend

femaleweezy_fml 3

Thursday 20 September 2012 16:43

so she likes vampires huh?

agramza3 4

Thursday 20 September 2012 16:56

okay Cullen is actually my moms maiden name so maybe she's not so dumb.

Jinxx7 0

Thursday 20 September 2012 16:57

You need to get a better girlfriend

loloalltheway 23

Thursday 20 September 2012 17:16

I like twilight but doing a tattoo is a bit extreme....

maripon 2

Thursday 20 September 2012 18:07

Run. Run like the wind.

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Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

The Top

Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 880

You deserved it 10 308

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 492

You deserved it 7 497

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 374

You deserved it 10 167

Today, I had to tell my ex-husband I’m a lesbian. I’m not, he just keeps trying to win me back, but it worked, he now thinks there’s no chance for us. Unfortunately, he mentioned it to my mom, who “always suspected” and is now obsessively trying to set me up with every lesbian she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 1 643

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 464

You deserved it 5 520

Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 719

You deserved it 3 281