Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch"...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 741

You deserved it 12 575

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Give me strength

By GotPunched - 11/04/2009 06:36 - Finland

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home, my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the "cute girl" was my three year-old niece. I lost a tooth from the punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 716

You deserved it 5 613

Little shit

By single&alone - 06/03/2015 20:44 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny nitwit like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 862

You deserved it 3 535

By Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 11 681

Supportive and empathetic

By meltdowninrels - 15/08/2014 22:09 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 660

You deserved it 5 183

Alexa, play "All You Need Is Hate" by The Delgados

By Anyonymous_101 - 21/09/2019 14:02

Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 830

You deserved it 3 659

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 135

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 086

You deserved it 5 422

By Terry - 13/07/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 617

You deserved it 88 935

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 240

You deserved it 5 182

daner10 5

Sunday 23 September 2012 19:27

Who's the stupid bitch now?

RedSnuwolf 4

Sunday 23 September 2012 19:28

Your sister is a total badass. :)

Comments

brandi_callie 5

Monday 24 September 2012 6:18

Wooow!! Horrible girlfriend!! Show some respect doee..

cmb8280 24

Monday 24 September 2012 6:42

Sounds like your gf needs to learn how to STFU. Kudos to your sister, btw, for not taking her shit. "Not up in here!!!"

Saikon1357 25

Monday 24 September 2012 6:45

The ****? Your sister's obvious over reaction only proves your GF's point. AND DID YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO STOP YOUR SISTER?!

zander4310 5

Monday 24 September 2012 7:17

Your girlfriends an idiot.

PYLrulz 17

Monday 24 September 2012 7:28

FYL, and SDI

pabst4america 1

Monday 24 September 2012 8:08

I'd karate chop that bitch in the spine

IronfuckinMaiden_fml 1

Monday 24 September 2012 8:51

Your girlfriend definitely deserved it. You talk shit, dont always expect nothing to happen

breanneJ 0

Monday 24 September 2012 10:44

Calling someone in her boyfriends family seems like a stupid bitch move . Thumbs up to your sister !

soccer321 3

Monday 24 September 2012 14:32

your sister is amazingly awesome

loohoozuuhuur 13

Monday 24 September 2012 15:00

your sister rocks, your girlfriend... not

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Heatwave Miscellaneous Insects Cats Summer Virginity Kids Weird Parenting Family Thief Food Technology Scary Health Fear Animals Dogs Pranks Cute Proposal Awkward Embarrassing Job interview Work Relatable Sports Dentist Management Parents

The Top

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 377

You deserved it 2 572

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He says he can’t be with someone who doesn’t love his dog as much as he does. I told him that I have absolutely no problem with the dog being in the room, but it makes me uncomfortable when the dog is on the bed while we have sex. Apparently, that’s unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 276

You deserved it 62 338

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 263

You deserved it 4 752

Today, my mom woke me up from a wet dream, because I was moaning too loudly. I'm a 32 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 396

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 946

You deserved it 7 682

Today, I got a puppy. I just found out I can't bring it on the family trip. To save me the trouble of finding a friend to take her in, my mum handed her back to the pound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 978

You deserved it 3 959

Today, at our wedding reception, my new husband kept telling his buddies how he’s gonna “fuck my brains off” on our honeymoon and give me the best wedding gift ever - a pearl necklace on my chest. They all roared with laughter. He doesn’t understand why I’m upset and refusing to consummate our marriage right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 276