Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch"...

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 728

You deserved it 12 571

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Same thing different taste

Give me strength

By GotPunched - 11/04/2009 06:36 - Finland

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home, my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the "cute girl" was my three year-old niece. I lost a tooth from the punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 707

You deserved it 5 612

Little shit

By single&alone - 06/03/2015 20:44 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny nitwit like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 3 533

By Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 116

You deserved it 11 673

Supportive and empathetic

By meltdowninrels - 15/08/2014 22:09 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 631

You deserved it 5 179

Alexa, play "All You Need Is Hate" by The Delgados

By Anyonymous_101 - 21/09/2019 14:02

Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 805

You deserved it 95

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 824

You deserved it 3 657

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 132

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 074

You deserved it 5 417

By Terry - 13/07/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 615

You deserved it 88 917

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 232

You deserved it 5 177

daner10 5

Sunday 23 September 2012 19:27

Who's the stupid bitch now?

RedSnuwolf 4

Sunday 23 September 2012 19:28

Your sister is a total badass. :)

Comments

brandi_callie 5

Monday 24 September 2012 6:18

Wooow!! Horrible girlfriend!! Show some respect doee..

cmb8280 24

Monday 24 September 2012 6:42

Sounds like your gf needs to learn how to STFU. Kudos to your sister, btw, for not taking her shit. "Not up in here!!!"

Saikon1357 25

Monday 24 September 2012 6:45

The ****? Your sister's obvious over reaction only proves your GF's point. AND DID YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO STOP YOUR SISTER?!

zander4310 5

Monday 24 September 2012 7:17

Your girlfriends an idiot.

PYLrulz 17

Monday 24 September 2012 7:28

FYL, and SDI

pabst4america 1

Monday 24 September 2012 8:08

I'd karate chop that bitch in the spine

IronfuckinMaiden_fml 1

Monday 24 September 2012 8:51

Your girlfriend definitely deserved it. You talk shit, dont always expect nothing to happen

breanneJ 0

Monday 24 September 2012 10:44

Calling someone in her boyfriends family seems like a stupid bitch move . Thumbs up to your sister !

soccer321 3

Monday 24 September 2012 14:32

your sister is amazingly awesome

loohoozuuhuur 13

Monday 24 September 2012 15:00

your sister rocks, your girlfriend... not

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 750

You deserved it 21 323

Today, I got home and found my girlfriend in bed with another guy. After the screaming, yelling, and kicking them both out of my house, all I wanted was whiskey. I found the bottle under the bed. It wasn’t enough the guy was porking my girlfriend, he had to drink my booze too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 112

The Top

Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 437

You deserved it 1 317

Today, we got CCTV fitted in our store. My lovely boss told me he'll be spending his free time watching the footage on his phone to know what I get up to when he's not in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 326

You deserved it 2 910

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 767

You deserved it 89 646

Today, I wrote an entire 400 multiple question paper, only for the internet to reconnect at the end, getting the entire paper getting reset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 132

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 010

You deserved it 74 032

Today, I was sitting in class when the most popular girl in my grade came up to me holding birthday invitation cards. I've never been invited to a birthday party, so I was so excited when she handed me a card, only to hear her say, "Mary is on your bus, will you give this to her?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 358

You deserved it 4 731