Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch"...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 741

You deserved it 12 575

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Give me strength

By GotPunched - 11/04/2009 06:36 - Finland

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home, my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the "cute girl" was my three year-old niece. I lost a tooth from the punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 716

You deserved it 5 613

Little shit

By single&alone - 06/03/2015 20:44 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny nitwit like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 862

You deserved it 3 535

By Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 11 681

Supportive and empathetic

By meltdowninrels - 15/08/2014 22:09 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 660

You deserved it 5 183

Alexa, play "All You Need Is Hate" by The Delgados

By Anyonymous_101 - 21/09/2019 14:02

Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 821

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 830

You deserved it 3 659

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 135

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 086

You deserved it 5 422

By Terry - 13/07/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 617

You deserved it 88 935

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 240

You deserved it 5 182

daner10 5

Sunday 23 September 2012 19:27

Who's the stupid bitch now?

RedSnuwolf 4

Sunday 23 September 2012 19:28

Your sister is a total badass. :)

Comments

Genry 3

Monday 24 September 2012 1:23

That'a girl!

FaygoAndMiracles 18

Monday 24 September 2012 1:29

What is this whole trend of people whispering insults and such under their breath? Has no one heard of keeping their thoughts to themselves?

C0N71NG3NCY 6

Monday 24 September 2012 2:10

Haha owned! Your sister is a badass, and your girlfriend is the stupid bitch.

pregnantpianist 2

Monday 24 September 2012 2:26

I'd have punched her too. She's the stupid bitch for opening her mouth lol

IcedJesus 5

Monday 24 September 2012 2:51

Control your bitch

Briiyahh 7

Monday 24 September 2012 3:11

I love your sister

misty8996 0

Monday 24 September 2012 4:08

Good for your sister

darawbs 0

Monday 24 September 2012 4:43

Where is the FML? She acted like a dick and got punched. Sounds like a win to me. If my brother's girlfriend called me a bitch, he'd probably punch her himself.