Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed...

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 232

You deserved it 46 125

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Same thing different taste

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 164

You deserved it 21 752

By Ellowise - 24/12/2009 10:06 - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 675

You deserved it 47 181

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 902

You deserved it 91 019

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 016

You deserved it 24 810

By LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 881

You deserved it 32 418

By fishwizard - 02/06/2017 20:00

Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 3 972

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 522

You deserved it 39 343

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 090

You deserved it 51 160

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 978

By kirstyrd - 12/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Germfask

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 007

You deserved it 36 111

reki_fml 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:11

Fast track to skin cancer.

tiemoon37 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:05

that's definitely your girlfriends fault! as a punishment, she will have to walk around next to you :)

Comments

Zenma 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:03

If you tanned like a normal human being that wouldn't happen in the first place... YDI

hahasuckers 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 21:02

How does that POSSIBLY make sense?

Zenma 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 22:00

Is the concept too hard to grasp? He hadn't tanned in a tanning bed before, and he didn't have a clue what he was doing... If he had tanned NORMALLY, as in in the SUN, like a NORMAL person would do, then he wouldn't have burnt balls. D-O Y-O-U U-N-D-E-R-S-T-A-N-D?

MeganH0LLYW00D 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 23:05

Lol! Normal? I'm pretty normal. But I can't tan in the sun. I burnnnn nigga. Tanning booths are just fine. Shut up. x)

lmmmr 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 23:35

You're just as likely to get burnt in the sun.

Zenma 0

Monday 22 June 2009 1:40

Lol MeganHOLLYWOOD... You don't have as much melanin in your skin because your of European ancestry which is why you don't get tan in the sun -- You just get burnt. No wonder why you use tanning booths.

uLtra_attitude 0

Monday 22 June 2009 5:43

yeah which is also why you're not allowed to use the N word.

feralphoenix 4

Tuesday 7 June 2011 18:49

I'm of european ancestry and I get really tan..

sleepyolivia 14

Friday 5 August 2016 2:46

Can you please calm down?

tiemoon37 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:05

that's definitely your girlfriends fault! as a punishment, she will have to walk around next to you :)

saailaway 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:05

that suckssssss..

wolftastic 0

Friday 29 October 2010 7:28

you're cute:)

BlackberryStone 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:10

Aww FYL... but YDI!

gcristina17 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:10

hahaha wooow im feeling it for your manhood, hahahah

FlyMeToTheMoon 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:11

FYL because you look like a lobster, but seriously, you didn't think to ASK how long you should go on it for?

Humanoid_fml 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 19:53

The problem wasn't that he was in there too long; it was that he used a "super" bed when he had never tanned before. I don't get why there are so many YDIs... there's no way he would have known, and either his girlfriend or someone that worked at the salon should have told him.

reki_fml 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:11

Fast track to skin cancer.

scorpioserpent 1

Monday 22 June 2009 0:30

agreed, I would never use the tanning salon. YDI

harlehatschi 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:12

why the hell were you tanning naked, instead of wearing a male gstring or something? not to mention tanning beds give a lot of people skin cancer

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 16:37

I agree. You just had radiation beamed into your skin. I'd worry about skin cancer, and then the burned balls and ass.

weeeezy 0

Monday 22 June 2009 2:14

most people tan naked? no tan lines....one of the points of a tanning bed.

Mykeh 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:12

Hey Mr Lobster! Wow, your balls felt the heat? Hopefully your girlfriend will eat your balls like she would eat a lobster to make it up to you.

treli1593 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 16:23

ouch you mean break everything open and chew on the insides? There's something wrong with you dude. I don't know what type of fetish you have but if I were you, I'd see a psychiatrist. Oh and OP: YDI for not going out to the beach or something