Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed...

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 232

You deserved it 46 125

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Same thing different taste

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 164

You deserved it 21 752

By Ellowise - 24/12/2009 10:06 - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 675

You deserved it 47 181

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 902

You deserved it 91 019

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 016

You deserved it 24 810

By LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 881

You deserved it 32 418

By fishwizard - 02/06/2017 20:00

Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 3 972

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 522

You deserved it 39 343

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 090

You deserved it 51 160

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 978

By kirstyrd - 12/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Germfask

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 007

You deserved it 36 111

reki_fml 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:11

Fast track to skin cancer.

tiemoon37 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:05

that's definitely your girlfriends fault! as a punishment, she will have to walk around next to you :)

Comments

princesskitten 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 20:51

Lol. I bet your sperm are all crispy now.

purpleiscool 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 8:09

He probably doesn't have any nor can he make any after that one.

AloysiusWeasley 15

Thursday 25 June 2009 7:59

Lulz, you don't need to tan your junk, dude.

Autumnatic 0

Friday 26 June 2009 7:33

I will never understand why everyone thinks it's so important to risk several cancers, and looking like an oompa loompa just because they think for some reason that their skin color is inferior. DUMB *****!

purpleiscool 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 9:51

I totally agree, if you're looking for skin cancer, you might as well get it from the sun, at least the tan looks better.

C_rock757 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 14:45

I feel your pain man I went in one for 20 mins. she put me in for 10 and I thought she said when it finishes turn over and do another 10 mins. The part where there are bulbs on both sides of the bed never occurred to me as curious.

alibi2277439 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 9:00

aw, cheer up. not ******* your girlfriend for a few days won't be so bad.

ashleynonymous 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 5:54

They always tell you. It's common sense. If you spend 20 minutes in the sun on an 80 degree day, you're not as likely to get burned as if you spend an hour in the sun on a 95 degree day. If nobody got burned in tanning beds, why would they have different levels? Genius. YDI.