Love: Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into...

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 3 099

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 370

You deserved it 6 204

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 015

You deserved it 7 503

Romantic fool

By Idiot - 22/08/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 829

You deserved it 38 836

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 713

You deserved it 26 843

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 663

You deserved it 3 299

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 98

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 678

You deserved it 66 264

By Anonymous - 14/01/2014 16:15 - United Kingdom - Chester

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 4 978

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 821

You deserved it 7 808

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 290

You deserved it 40 628

AlcaSMT 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 9:24

Ask her to kiss it better.

Radi0Waves 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 9:35

hopefully she doesn't want kids....

Comments

Giorgio272 2

Thursday 4 March 2010 10:30

Let her suck your Billy balls better for you. nothing like a good old teabag to tell the bitch who is boss and to never do it again. Hey maybe your aim is a little off to and you get her right in the eye.

bfffness 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 12:08

what a dumbass

fmfreakinlife 3

Thursday 4 March 2010 13:24

kinky :P

Sekococo 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 15:17

woot epic air knee attack go! :)

ashiiya 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 15:47

Owwww.....damn I hope you're ok @.@

gagtjs 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 15:59

may wanta put some ice on that........O.o

buggybeauty 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 17:14

suck it up, sissy

deathstar7 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 19:03

Epic fail. That would be the worst way to wake up ever!

fxdxhk90 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:41

Use it to your advantage. You sir have a (near) future of many sammiches and bjs, take advanatge of it before the guilt the wears off.

benen 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 21:04

tell her u need some saliva on it ( hers ) Its not really an FML though ( unless u can't have babies now but that could be a good thing for u no more condems :D ) atleast she didn't cheat ( I hope not )