Love: Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I... - FML

By GlueAndCarrots - 29/05/2015 15:05 - Canada - Markham

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 4 353

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By AlonsoKold - 07/04/2014 23:39 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 248

You deserved it 5 867

By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 384

You deserved it 2 016

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 10:25 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 667

You deserved it 3 953

By Anonymous - 25/07/2014 21:18 - United Kingdom - Ilkeston

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 604

You deserved it 11 733

By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk - 25/06/2018 15:00

Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 167

You deserved it 228

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 894

You deserved it 3 067

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 983

You deserved it 2 119

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 240

You deserved it 3 697

Twins

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 01:06 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 913

You deserved it 2 949

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 091

You deserved it 4 194

Next

Top comments

tehman117 21

Saturday 30 May 2015 0:09

Is she 3?

irish_lad 16

Saturday 30 May 2015 0:10

She threatened. Now you carry out that threat

Comments

mine___turtles10 13

Sunday 31 May 2015 20:05

The beetles would of held her hand

ddvictor 4

Monday 1 June 2015 5:16

my problem is just the opposite, my girl has never held my hand

juliawolak 8

Tuesday 2 June 2015 6:27

Glue and carrots?

jmelt814 4

Tuesday 2 June 2015 11:36

Dump her

Weirddate 11

Thursday 4 June 2015 20:23

Leave and find someone who has graduated preschool

MyBloopersInLife 6

Thursday 11 June 2015 2:18

What if she's on her period?

GermanRanger 7

Thursday 11 June 2015 4:48

How old are u??? Like 5

Mitchitivity 6

Tuesday 16 June 2015 4:11

I had a super clingy girlfriend and as an independent person it was hard at times. I married her and I have never been happier with the many before her. So what if shes cling wrap? There are worse qualities to have. Like being a lying cheating ***** for example. Or snoring.

cainchild 4

Friday 19 June 2015 18:42

Run, walk, drive, fly QWOP the hell out of there.

zefronke8 25

Wednesday 15 July 2015 4:19

Aww that's sort of romantic...I guess

6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 999

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 3 939

The Top

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 488

You deserved it 2 247

Today, I got a question wrong on an exam. The question started with, "In your opinion..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 647

You deserved it 1 992

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 547

You deserved it 2 451

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 871

You deserved it 3 618

Today, I realized that the guy that I've liked for the past 7 months is actually a girl. I've told all my friends about how much I like him, but no one bothered to tell me that he's actually a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 736

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 499

You deserved it 3 919