Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news....

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 4 404

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Same thing different taste

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 100

You deserved it 1 286

By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 254

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 893

You deserved it 8 514

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 677

You deserved it 7 573

Double Impact

By Zoogangcapk - 01/01/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 10 185

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 879

You deserved it 2 820

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 800

You deserved it 79 044

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 642

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 3 659

By Toooldforthisshit - 09/12/2018 11:30 - United States - New London

Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 079

You deserved it 262

bobbycorwen 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:43

That's great news for in the long run! For now, no. I am sorry she's a cheating *****. :(

kjcamaro3 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:42

No diaper changing for you...more good news!!!

Comments

coolen555 0

Monday 9 January 2012 23:51

What a *****! Tell her bad news get the **** out of my place

samalam19 3

Wednesday 11 January 2012 5:21

Ouch

chevyrider20 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:01

Be glad now go after her best friend!

projectpat007 1

Saturday 14 January 2012 3:32

id cry... that hurt my heart a lil...

killerguitar007 1

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:39

If I were you, i'd probably get all my friends and go murder the other guy

Kingbreezy04 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:30

Sounds like good news to me

xXcaraXx 2

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:39

Well u hav good and bad news for her to! Bad: u two r over. Good: u dont have to deal with her anymore

kellyrenaye 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 15:18

Good news - at least your not a dad to a *****. Bad new - id get tested if I was you...

SuperMeLiSsA97 6

Sunday 26 February 2012 6:45

Cheater-.- Dump the hoe .!

Elfkid21 19

Tuesday 24 April 2012 12:47

.... i dont see ANY good news here!!

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The Top

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 747

You deserved it 17 915

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 003

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I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 415

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 819

You deserved it 4 933

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 661

You deserved it 5 303

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 189

You deserved it 4 160

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 406

You deserved it 339

Same thing different taste

Double Impact

Planned parenthood

Rollercoaster

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