Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news.... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 00:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 4 404

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Same thing different taste

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 100

You deserved it 1 286

By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 254

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 893

You deserved it 8 514

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 677

You deserved it 7 573

Double Impact

By Zoogangcapk - 01/01/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 10 185

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 879

You deserved it 2 820

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 800

You deserved it 79 044

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 642

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 3 659

By Toooldforthisshit - 09/12/2018 11:30 - United States - New London

Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 079

You deserved it 262

Next

Top comments

bobbycorwen 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:43

That's great news for in the long run! For now, no. I am sorry she's a cheating *****. :(

kjcamaro3 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:42

No diaper changing for you...more good news!!!

Comments

Mkbitch 2

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:40

Wow!! That blows op:( Hope you dumped her trashy no class having ass.

SchellShocka 1

Saturday 7 January 2012 20:03

Move on bro! That's the best news you can get from a *****. There's plenty more out there for you and probably can/will do way better.

Bullheard 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 20:05

thats messed up...

bubgarcia909 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 21:13

When ur a sucka! U get treated like one.

slip44knot 1

Saturday 7 January 2012 21:30

save the castle screw the princess.

tangooscarmike 4

Saturday 7 January 2012 23:47

Winning.

gooldbaby12 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 0:25

Shouldnt she being pregnant be the good news and you might not be the father the bad? Prolly the least of your worries lol :P

ShadowPeo 11

Sunday 8 January 2012 0:27

Ditch the bitch

Paulavast 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 0:40

sounds like you dodged a bullet, which she then caught with her ******.

jesedro 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 1:22

You should've said this: " bad news for you too I have been diagnosed with AIDS. And was too afraid to tell you... Hope we can still be together??" lol

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The Top

Today, I was at a guy's house that I’d been seeing for a while. After watching a movie, I confessed that after these past few times we’ve hung out, I’ve started to catch feelings. He looked at me and said, "I actually don’t think I want anything serious, but are you down to be friends with benefits?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 476

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 4 427

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I agree, your life sucks 64 251

You deserved it 3 305

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I agree, your life sucks 34 404

You deserved it 3 286

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I agree, your life sucks 18 094

You deserved it 1 862

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 729

You deserved it 5 461

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 136

You deserved it 6 469