Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with...

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 321

You deserved it 11 775

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Same thing different taste

Facebook official

By waitthatsnotme - 15/08/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, after dating my girlfriend for about a month, she changed her Facebook status to taken. When I saw the update, I immediately clicked "Like." Then I looked up and saw I wasn't the person she had put herself in a relationship with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 539

You deserved it 5 574

By sadman - 05/02/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 041

You deserved it 3 797

Many such cases

By sadlife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship." The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 59 574

Stereotypes

By Anonymous - 26/09/2019 06:01

Today, my girlfriend's Facebook relationship status was changed to single. When I tried to ask her about, she told me she's a lesbian now. Her mullet should've been a clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 339

Easy fix

By failure - 13/10/2010 06:18 - Australia

Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 429

You deserved it 3 107

By Lies - 19/08/2009 02:44 - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 801

You deserved it 5 956

By danthecomplicate - 29/09/2011 02:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 285

You deserved it 12 484

Two-stroke

By sushichick - 15/04/2020 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 772

You deserved it 286

Well played

By fmfb - 07/06/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 763

You deserved it 6 279

By mee - 11/11/2015 17:10 - United States - Providence

Today, my girlfriend informed me that we aren't officially dating until she changes her Facebook relationship status. We've been "dating" for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 219

You deserved it 1 875

callargh 0

Monday 17 August 2009 1:49

At least she didn't tweet it?

geesquared 0

Monday 17 August 2009 1:49

you're doing something wrong if she's uh bored.

Comments

mxmarielle 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:38

brian? lol

okami36 2

Monday 17 August 2009 4:39

Next time, pull out and shove it in her ass. That should get her attention back on you.

iHaveNoLife88 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:48

LMAO! That is funny!

spicy4u 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:56

i had to read that 4 times b4 i noticed "in"

rainangel484 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 3:55

I didn't realize it said "in" until I just read your comment.

Eschen515 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:59

And u let ur pick up her cell phone or what ever she used in the middle of sex? Ydi for being a pussy

prettykitty123 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:23

Can someone please explain this to me? I don't get it):

prettykitty123 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:29

Ou wait I just noticed the "in"

molitov 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:33

dump her... she has a severe addiction.. or lack of interest.. but out of curiosity.. what did she put as her status?

kirbyfan23 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:47

OMG while you were in her? Your girlfriend ate you?! LOL JK, but at least you had sex. So semi-stop complaining.

Bridge123 0

Monday 17 August 2009 5:51

What did it say???

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 595

You deserved it 2 149

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 742

You deserved it 7 349

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 274

You deserved it 66 978

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 581

You deserved it 7 790

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 759

You deserved it 7 924

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 547

You deserved it 4 543