Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her...

By beerpong26 - 06/02/2009 19:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 591

You deserved it 6 885

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Same thing different taste

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 1 192

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 287

You deserved it 29 243

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 836

You deserved it 6 346

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 334

By Electro - 11/02/2016 21:51 - United States - Nashua

Today, I found out how painful it is to static shock the tip of your dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 220

You deserved it 7 282

Right in the pecker

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 480

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 17 156

What kind of sex are you having?

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 00:00

Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 457

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 7 399

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 5:56

how electrifying

Bluelake3 0

Monday 23 February 2009 9:14

now THATS passionate.

Comments

zombiegold 23

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:04

That is a story you can tell your grandkids.

corocoro 30

Tuesday 13 August 2013 17:24

...And be that creepy grampa who tells you way too much about his sex life?

hahatofunny 20

Sunday 27 January 2013 3:17

Ouch that blows

gators1995 30

Wednesday 22 May 2013 3:51

Shocker on nut avenue

Rothris 17

Tuesday 27 May 2014 18:34

caution: discharge

AuroraTenkara 9

Sunday 2 November 2014 2:28

Just remember, next time you guys do it, your **** is high voltage! She can't shake the shock, because she doesn't want it to stop!

toxic324x 17

Friday 20 February 2015 16:40

God: no.

bleedingglitter 24

Monday 23 February 2015 1:03

That is so ******* funny.

Wolfipoo 31

Wednesday 2 September 2015 17:00

Huh, I guess it was pretty.... Shocking :3

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Cute Haircut Miscellaneous Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Frustration Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Technology

The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 139

The Top

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 169

You deserved it 4 256

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 468

Today, my girlfriend, who live 30 minutes away, asked me over late at night. When I got there, she turned me around and kicked me out because she "wasn’t feeling it." I’m 29 and still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 270

Today, I found out that the only reason my ex husband calls my son anymore, is to ask him to send him things on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 509

You deserved it 2 526

Today, I had just finished a really intense workout in my garage gym. It was chilly outside, but I crossed the road home in my shorts, as I was still pretty hot and sweaty. A woman walked by and asked, "Aren't you cold, you skinny little whore?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 272

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 7 445