Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 283

You deserved it 7 890

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not now, dude

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 18:44 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 7 319

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 153

You deserved it 14 889

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 285

You deserved it 29 243

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 708

You deserved it 18 568

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 165

You deserved it 8 240

By notsohandy - 03/01/2014 22:08 - Denmark - Hadsten

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 947

You deserved it 8 126

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 973

You deserved it 19 174

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 161

You deserved it 5 568

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 677

You deserved it 7 399

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 573

You deserved it 4 588

naddification 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:28

You're a monster. A beautiful monster. Probably why she insisted that she continues.

JohnnyPhoenix31 7

Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:30

Did she use her tears as lube?

Comments

ViperiousX 1

Saturday 7 January 2012 18:56

U forgot to mention she was crying cause u hit her for not doing it well enough.

radiariad 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 3:49

Do u know why she cried?

Emmilyy73 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 6:08

Aww lol

nelsokev 6

Sunday 8 January 2012 9:18

she was crying because she was jerking you off?

Rosebudteg 4

Monday 9 January 2012 5:36

Oh my. I would've felt terrible too. FYL

lady_rapid10 0

Monday 9 January 2012 9:32

Y the he'll did she cry?

alsgirl 24

Wednesday 11 January 2012 15:26

Mildly random....

chevyrider20 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:07

Well she insisted

Zkenny13 6

Monday 16 January 2012 10:00

61 that is the greatest comment I think I've ever heard.

chubby_choco 17

Wednesday 18 January 2012 0:23

Don't feel like a monster. You tried to comfort her, and she respected you enough to not leave you hanging. If you worked it out after you were done, everything ought to be okay.