Love: Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very...

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 454

You deserved it 8 860

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 2 974

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 927

You deserved it 38 549

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 524

You deserved it 4 586

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 919

You deserved it 10 325

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 799

You deserved it 350

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 23 218

Ray_Scott 0

Friday 13 November 2009 9:26

It's not love until you know she poops and you still want to have sex with her.

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 13 November 2009 9:10

I swear the last sentence said "I can't look at her ****** the same ever again" [shakes head, blinks eyes several times] Anyway, you're going to hear a lot of crap (haha) about how it's only natural and girls do poop etc etc But really, I understand. Nobody wants to think about their significant other defecating, or anyone at all for that matter, unless they're into that kind of thing. It's a rather awkward situation to stand and watch, especially when it's smelly. Now, this could be a plus though... she is comfortable enough to let you... er, witness that? Obviously it could also be the booze though.

Comments

ShannaBanana17 0

Friday 13 November 2009 18:51

You deserve it for standing there and watching, and then complaining about it later. Grow up.

anonymous69_fml 0

Friday 13 November 2009 18:52

it's funny how people think this is real! girls obviously don't poop (or fart or pee or anything else like that!) the female restroom is pure myth! (have you ever been in one? there is a mirror to do their makeup and a couch to socialize and talk, no stalls or toilets of any kind!

jonny2x4 0

Friday 13 November 2009 18:58

So did your girlfriend shat herself or whilst on the potty? Was it a solid deuce or was it a bad case of taco *****? DETAILS! DETAILS! WE WANT DETAILS!!!!!

Glenn_Williams 0

Friday 13 November 2009 19:10

Ha you're all saying the same damn thing. Gotta love the stupid arguments. We should ask professor beaker!

beethoven_fml 0

Friday 13 November 2009 19:46

wow u suck

fabfoot 0

Friday 13 November 2009 19:53

dude thats great u wanted 2 help ur drunk grl out n all but when she sat on the toilet u probly shoulda GOT THE F*CK OUT

amazingkate 0

Friday 13 November 2009 20:20

wow. GOOD POINT.

SNOTTYBONES 0

Friday 13 November 2009 19:56

Ok so you plan to just have girlfriends for the rest of your life and live alone? When you get married that is just a part of life. Well maybe not sitting there watching each other do it but what are you going to do when the urge comes over you??? Go to the gas station? Just wait till you see your wife give birth!!!!!! You will never look at that the same either.

in_wonderland 1

Friday 13 November 2009 20:26

dude, why didn't you just leave the room when you saw her pull down her pants? and just say well i'll let you do your bizznazz but i'll be right outside? god damn it, why the **** would you just stand there watching awkwardly as she slowly pushed out some huge shit? i mean, that couldn't have been quick if it was so monstrous. i would immediately turn around and leave as to not embarrass her or myself. you're stupid.