Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to...

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 668

You deserved it 10 046

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Same thing different taste

By Holymoly - 14/01/2009 21:10 - Netherlands

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 658

You deserved it 39 728

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 3 435

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 427

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 370

You deserved it 6 204

By girlgirlinsanity - 25/07/2010 11:09 - United States

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 560

You deserved it 5 779

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 279

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 108 950

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 4 495

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 151

You deserved it 7 122

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

AndyBoy 0

Friday 5 June 2009 2:11

FYL indeed sir

ellephaba101 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 21:55

I don't get it...?

Comments

bradg20 5

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:37

well played sir

mybabaygirl 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 12:02

That a side effect of being old, wrinkly, ugly and forgetful.. # honest

TheSetucker 2

Monday 19 March 2012 3:45

Wow sorry :P

Kermy1113 23

Thursday 9 July 2015 4:18

This has happened to me and my boyfriend before too except he woke me up

gracefulmonk 8

Monday 23 October 2017 22:04

Maybe it blew your mind, too, and that's why you can't remember.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers

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Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

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You deserved it 456

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I agree, your life sucks 23 531

You deserved it 44 218

Today, my boss, mentor, and gaming buddy, has officially quit. Turns out even he doesn't get paid enough to deal with this bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 93

Today, I was greeting some guests when I fell into the tray of tea and biscuits in front of them, with two cups of tea directly drenching my hair. They didn't laugh, they didn't chuckle, but my sister was laughing too hard and too much. I now smell like tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 169

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 806

You deserved it 3 012

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 2 496