Miscellaneous: Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we...

By Anonymous - 18/07/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 145

You deserved it 3 736

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Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 140

You deserved it 3 069

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 649

You deserved it 2 160

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 402

You deserved it 60 587

Neighborhood watch

By TheAnnoyedNeighbor - 03/10/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 592

You deserved it 3 287

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 2 927

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 611

You deserved it 4 060

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 530

You deserved it 2 747

By racello13 - 02/11/2015 15:26 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 455

You deserved it 1 814

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 335

You deserved it 3 839

By Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 244

TheRealBruce 12

Monday 18 July 2011 12:04

well y'all better put them in a safe

macdaddymady 8

Monday 18 July 2011 12:03

man that's some scary shit, it's time to move

Comments

Supascruggs 1

Monday 18 July 2011 20:15

Epic Steal Time. you got robbed by douches who watch epic mealtime on YouTube.

hope1977 0

Monday 18 July 2011 20:30

That is awesome.

ThatsAfurry 9

Monday 18 July 2011 20:37

well there wouldnt be a next time if you were a ginger, now would there?

Natadance4eva 0

Monday 18 July 2011 20:41

well if they left you a note u can turn it into the police and they can determine the guys by their handwriting...

Faceeater24 0

Monday 18 July 2011 20:46

Oh, that was your house?

Irishxoxo 2

Monday 18 July 2011 21:09

Better hope you're a ginger so there's nothing for them to steal.

xxcloudysky 3

Monday 18 July 2011 21:11

Sounds like EpicMealTime.

c0wz_g0_quack 3

Monday 18 July 2011 21:13

They were gingers!

PwningLamp1 0

Monday 18 July 2011 21:21

Kinda sounds like the guy from Epic Meal Time. "Next time, we eat bacon!"

MikeHuntIsTight 0

Monday 18 July 2011 21:25

epic meal time

yumazing 0

Monday 18 July 2011 23:17

hahaha i was gonna say that

Keywords

University Confused Annoying Education Love Sex AITA Divorce Awkward Relatable Dreams Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Cute Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Animals Harassment Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food Texting My ex

The Top

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 357

You deserved it 42 739

Today, and for a while, I've been on a dry spell, so I bust out my good old battery-operated boyfriend (B.O.B.) to break the spell. The film I found to assist in my task had actors who looked like my ex and me. I had the best orgasm I've ever had, while also bawling my eyes out at the same time. Therapy it is then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 362

The Top

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 718

You deserved it 3 276

Today, the principal of my school asked me if I had practice. Knowing he's gullible, I said yes. I came home to find him and my mom having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 277

You deserved it 878

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 3 138

Today, when I went to my gp for an annual check up, I was complaining to the nurse about my chronically sore ankle. Turns out it has been fractured for 8 years. When I was 11 I was playing in my grans garden and went over on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 664

You deserved it 301

Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 168

You deserved it 8 699

Today, my girlfriend of one year broke up with me because I started having PTSD induced night terrors. On my birthday as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 92

Same thing different taste

Neighborhood watch

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