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My mother-in-law said something very similar. She nags us for grandkids constantly, less so now that my brother-in-law has a very serious girlfriend. I got sick of it one time and told her that she already has plenty from her husband's kids so stop bugging me. She said step grandkids don't count. Only good part was my dad (whose only grandkids are my stepsisters kids) over hearing and very loudly shouting 'Don't you dare say my grand baby doesn't count!'.
I don't know your situation, but I know step grand kids are different Han biological grand kids in the way they're involved in the child's life. If the parents got married when the step kid was older, or if they never really accepted the step parent as a real parent, then when the child has a baby, a lot of times the step parent is left out of grandparent activities in favour of the "real" grandparents. But that's just how it was in my family, maybe your mother in law is just rude.
Trust me, she's just rude. She's been married to her husband longer than all his grandkids have been alive and is just as involved as her husband. My dad and stepmom had only been dating a few months when my nephew was born. My stepmom says she fell in love with my dad partly because he was able to love her family so readily. He's more caring and involved after four years than my mother-in-law after fifteen. When my dad defended the step grandparent relationship, she started making loud ignorant statements about family being blood. Awkward because my father-in-law isn't the biological father of my husband or his brother. My husband has a lot of insecurities about his father not loving him because he's biologically the son of a sperm donor and his mom is fully aware of this. All this happened at a dinner that was supposed to be celebrating our engagement and is now the reason my dad refuses to be around my in-laws.
you need help
Way to traumatize the kid there, grandma.
A daughter is a daughter, even if you didn't give birth to her. Your mother should understand that.
That was extremely rude and uncalled for! Some people should come with a mute button.
Finding out that you're adopted sucks. It'll be hard, but explain everything to her
"Adopted means you didn't grow in your mommies belly, but in her heart" - from a 6 year old Chinese girl.
that's just terrible I bet your daughter is amazing person so her grandma should be proud to be able to be apart of her life ! Nothing is anymore "real" than that kind of relationship. Tbh I don't think she deserves to be her grandma if she acts like that...
Sounds like something my grandmother would say. She has preference towards me because I am the oldest grandkid and is always saying stuff that hurts my little sister. She doesn't do it on purpose and she doesn't understand that there is anything wrong with what she says.
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Your daughter should cheer up! You can't choose your mother but she was chosen by you :)
Some people can't keep their mouths shut.