Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I...

By Anonymous - 22/02/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 780

You deserved it 5 615

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Same thing different taste

Automaton

By Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 717

You deserved it 9 558

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 781

You deserved it 5 152

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 517

You deserved it 10 415

Turn off

By no no no - 21/03/2023 02:00

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 311

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 774

You deserved it 4 441

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 5 621

By anonymous - 19/02/2011 13:12 - United States

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 065

You deserved it 7 397

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 876

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 933

You deserved it 12 634

wallygolf 3

Wednesday 22 February 2012 11:54

Should of told him he better last as long as a machine then

Doxy 22

Wednesday 22 February 2012 11:57

The Fuckinator would make pretty awesome name for a vibrator.

Comments

fluffyoliveras 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 3:25

Hahahaha that's funny

Cmcnab1997 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 3:29

He must get off watching the Terminator

pimpnainteasy 5

Thursday 23 February 2012 3:58

Lol I did it when I was wasted I was a dog and she was a cat lmao... Hmmm

NoKittyMyPotPie 3

Thursday 23 February 2012 4:27

Lol this one made me laugh.

Rick_E_Fresh 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 5:06

"The Fuckinator".....coming soon

flowerchildd2 7

Thursday 23 February 2012 5:35

Officially turned off. haha

StephanyTheSheep_fml 4

Thursday 23 February 2012 5:36

you have to admit that's pretty ******* awesome

hayat5496 5

Thursday 23 February 2012 7:58

Your

MDTeddy 13

Thursday 23 February 2012 8:32

Wtf kind of name is that? That is stupid.

cubbi54 6

Thursday 23 February 2012 10:52

Just call him Arnold Schwollenpecker and enjoy piston like pounding that ensues!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars Work You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

Today, for my husband's birthday next weekend, I booked a holiday which he was happy about… until I told him it was a surprise family holiday so I'd invited his kids and their families. Now he doesn’t want to go and has made up a fake work emergency. He’s a bus driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 1 243

The Top

Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 821

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 588

You deserved it 1 012

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 381

You deserved it 1 667

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 961

You deserved it 2 965

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 128

You deserved it 5 502

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 735

You deserved it 36 008

Same thing different taste

Automaton

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