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By brerj09 - 27/07/2016 06:41 - United States

Spicy
Today, my husband told me he's just "not interested" in having sex anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 192
You deserved it 1 737

brerj09 tells us more.

brerj09 13

Ok so I feel like I need to clarify a few things. I'm 21 and my husband is 27. We have been married less than a year. He has gone to the doctor about this before. His testosterone levels are within the normal range but just barely. He doesn't have ED. And it's not that I'm bad in bed... He has a very low sex drive. I have a normal sex drive. If he had his way we'd have sex like once a month. I'm not happy with that. Things were getting better but then he dropped this bomb on me last night. He isn't interesting in having sex and he's doesn't want to do anything to change that. And I'm abnormal because I want to have sex. We are going to be seeing a marriage counselor....

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Top comments

puppies4life 10

I can't believe that people are saying to leave him. Switch the genders here and it wouldn't even have been featured. Anyway hopefully you guys can sort this out because love is still more important

207 5
MedChew 19

This has got to be the blandest FML in a long time. Sorry about his attitude, but I really need more info to pass any judgment here...

141 10

Comments

RectumRecker 16

You guys should really have a talk then about your relationship. Really sorry to hear that OP!

2 0
betagod 6

take him to a doctor, it could be a sign of horomonal issues

14 2
puppies4life 10

I can't believe that people are saying to leave him. Switch the genders here and it wouldn't even have been featured. Anyway hopefully you guys can sort this out because love is still more important

207 5
EbyKat 16

I can't believe basically telling your spouse they never get to have sex again is ok regardless of gender. They either need to open their relationship up or he needs to be willing to have maintenance sex or they part ways. If she doesn't want to have an open relationship and he doesn't want to have maintenance sex that doesn't leave a lot of options. It's not very loving of him to come to her with this statement.

8 11
Lalala579121 27

31 - Saying you're not interested in having sex anymore and saying your partner can't have sex anymore either are two completely different things. Nowhere in the FML did it suggest the husband would force OP to not have sex ever again.

4 0
YaBoiSeabass 15

To everyone in the comments, it's not a hormonal issue, it's not that he doesn't love her anymore, after a while sex becomes a chore and yes guys can feel that way too

0 17
askullnamedbilly 33

With that little information in the actual FML, there's no way you can know that. It COULD be because he's lost interest in her. It COULD be because of a medical issue. It COULD be about sex being a chore too, yes. Thing is, without knowing which one it is the only thing we can tell OP is to not take it as a personal insult (unless he specifically told her in that context) and to talk to her husband and have him explain why he's not interested in sleeping with her anymore.

16 0
MandyT 16

I would put on **** and start pleasing myself next to him, see how disinterested he is after that ;)

6 16
MedChew 19

This could backfire badly for both of you. I wouldn't recommend it. When a dude say he's not feeling 'up' to something, he is indeed not up to something. It would be really awkward if he doesn't get horned up like you hoped he would. Then cue the wild infidelity / you don't love me anymore/ you're getting it from somewhere else 'thoughts'. Better be straight up with your guy and talk it over later...

17 0
marcranger 28

My guess, based on having been the low-libido partner subjected to that? He'll be pissed that she isn't letting him sleep.

4 0
species4872 19

Tell him you're just not interested in feeding him anymore.

1 23
askullnamedbilly 33

Maybe OP's husband can feed himself, considering that it's not the 19th century anymore.

24 0
bosniangirl27 21

Maybe not with you but he still might be interested in having it with someone else

3 14
cmh17 1

I'm not either. I try to still fulfill some of my husbands needs but due to medical reasons I'm just not interested lately. Is there a reason, like depression or something medical? Remember you vowed through thick and thin, so now it's time to prove it. Unless he's being an asshole cuz you've gained weight or something then he can suck it...and you get a nice detachable shower head...with different pressures. ?

7 1
primocell 6

Did u even read it? The husband is uninterested not the wife.

2 12
Flyndaran 10

The very idea of my lady peforming sex acts she doesn't want to out of obligation literally horrifies me. I don't use that word often, but that thought could give me nightmares.

3 0
DoomedGemini 37

I don't like how it seems you're trying to guilt op if she wants out of the marriage. They need to try to find a solution, but if there isn't one they should divorce. Nothing wrong with that. Staying out of obligation of the words you said isn't fair. In a perfect world everyone would say them, mean them, and keep meaning them throughout life. But this isn't perfect and you need to do the best thing for yourself, not be stuck in a marriage that doesn't work.

5 0
InfiniteSunshine 32

There isn't a lot of info here, but I know this situation must be hard, I wouldn't jump right to a break up though. I'd say start with medical issues first, low testosterone, depression, erectile dysfunction, etc, rule out that it isn't some kind of condition. Also try counselling, I'd do it even if you find a medical reason. Outside perspectives can give better insight, it will just help both of you sort out your emotions and feelings, and hopefully allow you to not only connect to each other again, but better understand where the other is coming from. What I've seen with people who have conflicting sex drives, is they plan, so both are relatively satisfied. Sex on some days, no sex on others, a compromise. Others try open relationships, but that isn't for everyone. If all else fails, or he isn't willing to work with you, it might come to a divorce. Opposite sex drives can cause problems, and it's ok if you can't handle a sexless relationship, you're not a bad person because you can't live with your needs not being met. But I'd try a lot if things before resorting to this option.

10 2