Awe, I'm sorry OP. It's unfair that he refuses to work with you, marriage needs compromise sometimes, being stubborn and refusing to at least try, only leads to resentment and frustration, for both people. Neither of you are abnormal, just different, different people have different needs. I hope the counselling helps and it gives him a better perspective on how you feel and that your needs are important, and it'll probably help you understand his feelings too. Good luck.

No offense to you, but shouldn't you have worked this out before you got married? Unless the issues only started after your marriage. Sex drive isn't exactly a "we'll talk about it when we get to it" issue.

What 43 said. I'll also add that he probably had a low sex drive before marriage as 27 is still pretty young. It's portobello he was more willing to put the act up though, so she might have been tricked.

It might not even have been a trick to him at the time. When you're in the infatuation stage, you do all sorts of stupid things that, when the stupidity wears off, you realize you were only doing for your partner's benefit. How do I know? Nowadays, I think once a month would be too much sex for my taste, but when my college boyfriend and I first got together, once a week was fine. OP, I am sorry, but my personal experience says that this issue isn't one you're going to be able to work through even with counseling. One of you is going to be incredibly unhappy.

He could be asexual? Please talk it out OP

Has your husband ever looked into the term asexual? It sounds like it might fit him.

I need to apologize I was like that fine then I saw you ages and I was like that not fine fyl diffently also sorry again glad you getting help too

The unfortunate thing is that he is in his right to not have sex if he doesn't have that drive to. A marriage shouldn't be defined on whether you have sex or not. If one of you decides sex isn't something you want then the other person should ********** and work on finding other intimacy in the relationship. It sucks you are going through this OP but I think it's something that can be worked through to a point where everyone is satisfied at the end.

you could get him testosterone shots

Sorry but no one, including you, has the right to have sex with someone. Sex is not and should not be a requirement for a good happy relationship.

While it is not a requirement, people still have needs, and they usually revolve around some form of intimacy with their partner. No, I do not condone any form of force, but I do agree with OP and hubby talk about the reasons behind it. counseling is great for that. If she can get an answer, she may be more content with that. If not, they may need to look into some form of alternative, like "toys" for her.

Intimacy doesn't equal sex. No one needs sex. If you need sex to be happy in the relationship it isn't a good relationship. Though her getting toys would be a good idea

Not sure how you and your husband feels about it op but have you talked about an open relationship? My parents were in a similar situation and it caused problems, until they tried an open relationship.

Hopefully going to a counselor helps. You could try toys, or an open relationship. As others have said you don't have the right to sex from your spouse, but sex is a important part of a relationship. And if you are not sexually compatible for any reason, that's a reason to break up. A relationship is comprise, but I don't want a partner to feels forced to sleep with me.

sex is a basic need. one have the right to refuse it but you have every right to have it also. Your sexual needs can't be ignored. imo a good sex life is one of the Base foundation in a healthy relationship.

I'm sorry about your problem OP but there are people that just aren't interested in sex and are usually considered as being asexual. It could be very well possible that he is as well. Try to talk it out with him and I wish you the best of luck.

I was about to say the same thing

"No one needs sex." No one needs sex? What?? Maybe some people don't need sex to have a healthy relationship, but complete abstinence is normally NOT a sign of a healthy relationship at all. Some people do need sex, very much. And yes, physical intimacy is very important in a relationship. Are you okay, #70? O_o

Wow, you can't have sex more than once a month, and now your marriage is "ruined"? Yeah, no it's not. You're just stubborn and won't accept anything else. If he doesn't want to have sex, whether he's just uninterested or something, then you shouldn't make him. You shouldn't force someone to do something they don't wanna do. And if he's shown signs of it before, then it's your fault for not accepting the possibility that it'd show up in your marriage, and then not doing anything about it. It's an even bigger YDI if you knew this might happen, and you knew that you couldn't live with that, and then you married him anyway without doing anything about it. There's more to relationships than sex. I just hate when people think their relationship is over and throw away a perfectly good one because someone won't have sex to their standards.

I agree with you. I have a low sex drive and never honestly want to do anything but he always wants something. I feel like we shouldn't have to do something to be happy together.

#89 a. Need is something you become ill or dead without. No one needs sex. If you believe you need sex to have a healthy relationship you shouldn't be in a relationship with that person. You do not need to have sex to be physically intimit

"need is something you become ill or dead without" Well, in that case, nobody really NEEDS anything in a relationship. Nobody needs trust, love, intimacy, compromises. Lacking any of those things won't kill you or make you ill. "if you believe you need sex to have a healthy relationship you shouldn't be in a relationship with that person" No, if you believe you need sex to have a healthy relationship that makes you a NORMAL HUMAN BEING. Are you really telling me you think that sexual compatibility is completely unimportant? What else is unimportant in a marriage then, to you? Is it important that the partners agree on anything at all? What if one person wants kids and one person doesn't? "Nobody NEEDS kids. It won't kill you NOT to have kids. If you believe you need to have kids with your partner to have a healthy relationship then you shouldn't have a relationship with that person" Again: ??????????????????????????? In all seriousness, I honestly, truly believe you need help. Fast. Your views on what makes or doesn't make a 'healthy' relationship are ironically NOT healthy. I am being very frank here, but honestly I am worried for you. It is NOT healthy to believe that sexual compatibility does not or should not affect the intimacy of a relationship, and it is NOT healthy to believe that it is 'wrong' to have sexual compatibility as a 'need' in a relationship. Your attitudes towards sex are not only abnormal, they are frankly disturbing. I can only wonder what sort of parenting or childhood or dating experience led you to develop these ideas. It suggests to me that you view sexual satisfaction in a relationship as something that is shameful to some degree to want. Not a healthy opinion. Not at all.

And another thing - not meeting the sexual needs of a partner shouldn't make you lose intimacy or otherwise make you or your relationship 'ill' in any way? I seriously challenge you to try saying that to a sex therapist who makes a living out of trying to reconcile the exact issues OP and her husband are going through. If sexual compatibility was really so unimportant, I guess all those sexologists and sex therapists can all resign and pick another field of work now? And the 90%+ of the population who have sexual needs must immediately see a therapist to bring their level of lust down to OP's husband's level, because it's the husband that's 'normal' and not OP. Nobody should ever have sex ever again unless it's to produce a child, because sex is not necessary in relationships and anyone who deems it necessary is messed up. Those who want sex but are with a partner who doesn't is wrong if they want to leave and wrong if they want to find some sort of compromise/solution, they must simply accept their situation happily because it is abnormal to need sexual compatibility... Holy shit, this sounds like 1984. .__.

I don't NEED to have sex/touch myself once a day to live but I do if I don't I'd have an erection all God damn day along with constant sexual thoughts racing through my brain. Obviously you don't need to have sex to live but who doesn't wanna have sex? In most relationships it's the partners duty to fulfill their partners sexual obligations, or find a middle ground if they're into some weird shit, however for me, nothing is too weird ;)

It's not normal or healthy to think you need sex for a good relationship. I guess you also believe it's impossible for an asexual to ever have a good relationship. The only reason you think it is needed is because society over sexualises everything. I'm not the one who needs help, if the most important thing to you in a relationship is sex then you want a **** buddy not a romantic partner. I believe these things because I actually bother to study it. There's a thing called masturbation and I'm someone who doesn't want to have sex. There's a thing called asexual. It is not someone's duty to have sex with anyone for any reason wtf. Your romantic partner is not a sex toy to be used however you want

Dude..just stop, did you actually study it, or study things that reinforced your opinion? Asexuals exist, of course, but a majority of people aren't asexual. People need their needs met in a relationship. From emotional to physical. If someone has a lower sex drive than their partner, the two need to talk and find a solution. Whether it be masturbation, open relationship, or compromised sex schedules. If they can't agree, it's completely right to separate. You can love a person deeply, but if your relationship needs are not met then the relationship will sour. Just as one person shouldn't be forced to have sex, one shouldn't be forced to go without. Your view is extremely selfish and bias toward the person with lower to no sex drive. Yes, they shouldn't be forced to have sex. Yes they aren't a sex toy. But the other person shouldn't have to go without something they need for a healthy relationship. They aren't wrong for their sex drive. Neither of them are. But if they can't find an agreement that makes them BOTH happy, it's fine to separate. Just as if a person left a relationship because they were demanded to have more sex than they wanted.

I have actually academically studied it. No one has the right to sex. Sex is not a need. If not having sex is a deal breaker for someone then they are placing sex as one of if not thee most important thing(s).

uhhhh it's slightly disturbing to read your views. where I myself do not think everything should be sexualized but a relationship is formed based on the assumption that sex will be involved. It truly is a husband or wife's duty to keep the other person satisfied, or at least find a middle ground. if one partner wants 10 sex, the other wants 1, they should do 5. middle ground and compromise. ur saying so asexuals can't have happy relationships ? well they can but they need to find another asexual. if you are asexual and don't make it clear before entering into a marriage, that's a deceit, since majority agrees and assumes a marriage will come with a sexual partner. marriage means taking care of each other's body and soul, finding a middle ground for everything. not even trying only makes a person selfish and it true for all things in marriage including sex.

Your mind is very ****** up if you expect sex in a relationship and you clearly need to grow up. Sex is never a given or required. Ahh so you believe asexuals should only date their own. Wow how bloody discriminatory.

"I guess you also believe it's impossible for an asexual to ever have a good relationship." Never said that. Okay maybe I have to go back to the basics. There are 7 billion people in the world, and everyone's DIFFERENT. We are not all the SAME. Being DIFFERENT does not make you ABNORMAL. "I'm not the one who needs help, if the most important thing to you in a relationship is sex then you want a **** buddy not a romantic partner." Sex doesn't have to be 'the most important thing' but it can be *an* important thing. That doesn't make you abnormal. Sex might also not be important to you. That ALSO doesn't make you abnormal. It just makes you DIFFERENT. "There's a thing called masturbation and I'm someone who doesn't want to have sex. There's a thing called asexual. It is not someone's duty to have sex with anyone for any reason wtf. Your romantic partner is not a sex toy to be used however you want." And of course, you're allowed to be asexual and that IS normal! That's fine too! But that doesn't mean that anyone you might meet HAS to be comfortable with that or if they're not, they're 'not healthy'. Let me give you an analogy. Jack is polyamorous, he doesn't want a monogamouse (exclusive) relationship. Jill is monogamous, she doesn't want Jack having sex with anyone else. Jack goes: "Well, you don't NEED to be monogamous. We're only monogamous because society pushes that ideal on us. You should be perfectly fine with me having an open relationship and having sex with other people. Will you get sick or die if I have sex with someone else? No? Then you should be perfectly fine with it. It's not healthy for you to define a relationship purely on monogamy. You don't NEED monogamy!" If you think Jack is right and Jill is selfish or 'unhealthy', then I've lost all hope here. And if you think Jack is being unfair, then something in your line of logic about how one person's needs or lack thereof trumps the other needs to be re-evaluated.

I wish I knew you, OP! My husband and I are having the same problem! :( It's been rough.

I dont see how this is an issue. You guys were happy without sex. Or you would not have gotten married.

109, yeah asexuals should only date their own if they're gonna lie until after they're married. I'd divorce if my husband ever dropped a bomb on me like that

I'm so sorry to hear this. my husband is 13 years older than me and the last time we had sex was I believe in January. last time before that was October. he's 36 and I'm 24. it's hard on me only because as a woman it can make you feel unattractive to them but also I've gotten used to it. only part that really sucks is we both want a baby so not having sex doesn't help the matter. I hope seeing a marriage counseller will help your relationship. Wishing you all the best!

#113 that doesn't make any sense on so many levels. 1) it assumes there was no sex prior to marriage, and 2) it assumes that both parties were 'happy' with this. There may well have been sex prior to marriage, and if there wasn't, OP may have been anticipating/expecting a normal sex life after marriage and if so she is well within her rights to be disappointed at how things ended up turning out.

If she left, 92, she wouldn't be making him now would she? Why should she be the one to "adjust"? Why should she be unhappy for his happiness? Why should either of them be unhappy for the other? A marriage counsellor will help them to come to a decision as to whether they can compromise or whether this is the end of their relationship.

Sex and expecting sex (aka thinking you have a right to someone else's body just cause your dating them) is not comparable to poly relationships. I don't know a single poly person who isn't ok with having mono relationships. Thinking asexuals should stick with their own is discriminatory and wrong If not having sex makes you unhappy there's bigger mental issues going on.

If he's okay with it, you may want to consider an open marriage. It's not for everyone though.

She never said asexuals had to stick with their own. Her point is that many people need sex in order to have a healthy relationship. Asexual people do not, and therefore have easier relationships with other asexuals because that problem is not present. There is nothing saying an asexual can't be in a relationship with a non-asexual person, but that problem will be very difficult to overcome. One option is an open relationship between the two once they have established trust and a bond, but that doesn't always work for everyone. They very well could have a monogamous relationship and be happy, with or without sex. Some asexual people DO enjoy sex, they just don't have any drive. If an asexual and a non-asexual got in a relationship such as that, it could easily work out. It's just that sexual satisfaction is a human need. Biologically, sex drive makes sense. It causes people to have sex and further the human race by creating more of them. It's completely natural and normal to require that in a relationship. Nothing is wrong with you if you don't, but condemning someone who does is cruel. Some relationships just don't work out because their partner can't satisfy their sexual needs, and that is okay. It's the same with relationships they don't work out because one wants children and the other doesn't. Regardless of how much the two may love each other, what they want from the relationship can be drastically different which can, in turn, cause its demise. A friend of a friend was in a very serious relationship, but they ended up separating because his boyfriend didn't want children, whereas he did. Back to the main topic, I personally have a very high sex-drive and know that if my boyfriend couldn't provide for me, the relationship wouldn't last very long, simply because I would crave something that he could not provide for me in that relationship. There isn't anything wrong with that, and it happens all the time.

there was one person who specifically said asexual should only date asexuals. look back and you'll find that comment

sucks to say but you don't read very well

An non-interest in sex doesn't automatically mean cheating...

I agree that OP deserves to know everything that's going on, but I think it's belittling to the concept of marriage to say it needs sex to work. In today's day and age sex is considered such a casual act that the mark of a true relationship is the ability to separate from the need of sex and still be able to find intimacy in other ways. If that's not possible and you need sex, then that's not the relationship you should spend your life dedicated to. The act of sex is not a compromise and if you love your partner it shouldn't affect whether you stay together.

Honestly if no sex is a deal breaker you shouldn't be dating. Or only date people with very high sex drives, since sex is for some reason the most important thing to you.

@66 I've seen a lot of comments from you and I sincerely hope that you are upfront with your partners about your opinion on sex. They deserve to know what they are getting into. Most people DO NEED SEX. We are animals, we have a need to reproduce, we desire sex, at some times in our lives we desire sex as much as we desire food. Just because you can live without sex doesn't mean that it isn't cruel to withhold sex at that point in their lives. Not that you should be forced to have sex when you don't want it, but to just say no and deny forms of release (toys, cuddling while the other masturbates, opening the relationship ... ) is cruel. You don't need a high sex drive for that, just A sex drive. For some people with a sex drive, toys are enough, for some it isn't and they need the actual intimacy of sex with a partner. From your remarks I belief that you are with the few people with an extremely low to no sexual drive. Not a problem. You don't need to be in a relationship where sex is important. It's the lack of empathy for other people that do find sex important that I find unsettling. If you are intentionally going into relationships with people without being upfront about this aspect of your being and you are denying your partner sex while shaming him/her for finding it important then you are cruel. For some reason I do belief that you do that.

No one needs sex, desiring it doesn't equal needing it. I have dated a guy with a very high sex drive and we never had sex. Was the longest relationship he'd ever been in. If you or any one considers sex to be the be all end all, most important, deal breaker if I don't get it for a relationship then you want a **** buddy not a romantic partner.

#85, do you mean you don't need sex the same way you need water, food, and oxygen? True. But you also don't need fun or conversation either, if that's your point. You don't get to tell other people if or how they should value sex in their lives or relationships. Based on what you've said, you obviously don't enjoy it, so you don't value it. That's fine, but you can't tell other people how important it is to them. A healthy and active sex life is very important to not only many, but the majority of people, so telling them they can just live without it or shouldn't care simply won't work.

If you can not be in a relationship with some one without there being sex Involved you clearly are not a good match for each other romantically. Can you care about and want to have sex? Sure but it shouldnt be the most important thing or something you think you need to be happy with the person.

@96 No one is saying it's the most important thing, but we are saying it's an important thing. Sex can be a necessity to be happy. You can NEED sex to be happy and then it's not needing in the sense that you will die without it but it is needing as in not having it will cause you to be unhappy. You can be in love with someone and at the same time unhappy. Love isn't as simple as, if you love me then you could give x up for your entire life. You don't need your partners money and if you are together because of the money then it's not real love but if the partner decides to quit his/her job and live really minimalistic than that can cause you to be unhappy even though you aren't together because of the money. If you are a vegan and you got together with another vegan and he/she grows out of veganism and starts eating meat then that can cause you to dislike the person even though you aren't together because of his/her food habits. Love and happiness are complex. Your love of a person are your feelings for him/her but also the life you share together. You can love someone very deeply but then you move in together and suddenly it's all arguments because it turns out that your habits aren't compatible. Making an effort is obvious, but if you are just incompatible then it isn't going to work out no matter how much you love each other. Again, lack of empathy and grow the **** up. Not everyone is like you.

Again if your love for someone is tied and based on the sex, you want a **** buddy not a romantic partner. I'm already grown up, what's immature is thinking sex is a necessity for a happy relationship and expect sex in a real Relationship.

@107 If you loved someone you wouldn't expect them to stop doing something that they love. Whether that is gaming, cooking, soccer, hunting (even though I despise that) or even sex. I'm not talking about not having compromises. I keep giving elaborate example's of possible compromises and you keep it simple with the word sex so I don't actually know what you mean exactly. So if you mean, no you can't have sex with me, no you can't have sex with other people, no masturbation is sex so that's not allowed, then you are not compromising at all and you are 100% a horrible person for asking that from a sexual person. You aren't in love if you can be that cruel to that person.

You don't love someone if you expect/require them to have sex with. Their body doesn't belong to you. When I say sex I mean sex. ************ is in no way sex wtf.

@107 I just looked up your age. You are 22. But it isn't right to make assumptions based on age and you can be the very mature 22 year old so... Have you lived together with a partner yet? For a significant amount of time (+1 year)? Have you had a partner for a significant amount of time yet (+2 years)? Are you passed the education stage of your live and do you have a full-time job? Were you ever together with a partner while you were both passed the education stage? Do you have mortage? Did you at one point had to share household chores with your partner? Do you have a continues full-time job for more then a year? If you said no to any of the questions in the first paragraph then you do not have the experience of a mature relationship. It probably feels like you do, but in the first year of the relationship you both act better then you are. It's much easier to compromise because you are in the honeymoon phase. You have more time and most (not all) of the commitments you have are simple or you can back out off. Barely if any commitments that make you serious, frustrated or just tired and not in the mood for anything. The questions in the second paragraph are questions that can have a serious impact on the relationship. They are the questions that cause strain on the relationship or force you to really make compromises and commit to them. You need a few of those to realise whether or not the relationship you are in is viable regardless of how much you love your partner. Frankly, because of the way you responded so far and your very black and white view on things, I don't think you have that much experience. You might have experience, experience with relationships where you break up because one of you has fallen out of love or is in love with someone else. I doubt that you had a relationship yet where you had to look at your own flaws. I doubt you had any relationship where you had to compromise beyond where to go on a date or what movie to watch. I doubt you have been in a loving relationship where you are both miserable but sticking together because love.

@107 Masturbation is in no way sex??? If I didn't believe you were asexual before, then I would know it right now. What, only penis in ****** is sex? How can you make any judgement about the value of sex in the relationship of sexual people if you don't have any understanding how an adult sex life works. But if sex = penis in ****** and only penis in ******, then yes. You don't need sex and if you leave a person because they aren't doing piv with you then you didn't really love them.

No I haven't lived with a partner and that doesn't matter The longest relationship I've had was 6 years and the shortest was 1 year I'm in uni for med school that takes about 15+ years to do...... I have a full time job I've had a boyfriend who was finished all of his schooling No mortgage, basically no one in my generation can afford that. No chores to share I've had my job for 5 years You don't need to live together for a mature relationship I've dated guys 6 years older than you........ Sex is the act of having intercorse with another person. Whether it's penis and ******, 2 vaginas or 2 penises I do consider myself to be grey ace. And I've been in relationships with people who were borderline hyper sexual.

Sexual people tend to conciser sex as more then penis in ****** (yeah I'm simplifying it). You don't need penis in ******, you can live without penis in ****** (there are always exceptions). If you simplify sex that much, then I agree with you. Then more people would agree with you. How many of your comments have been down voted so far? How many people have commented to say they agree? How many disagree? How can you have studied this subject and be right and have SO MANY people intensely disagreeing with you. Did you have your eye-shutters on when doing the study? Living with a partner definitely matters. Living alone means not having to make compromises (which so far you have shown you are unwilling to do), only having to deal with your partner when you feel like it, not having to deal with each others bad habits (you can't hide it if you live together), not having to change your bad habits and easily being able to hide other things (so can your very sexual partner who you believe to be monogamous). Amongst other things. I'm your generation and I have a mortage. My parents were a police officer and a shopping assistant (before you ask). Mortage is just an example, you can replace it yourself with something else that causes strain, like medical school and barely having any time together.

It's not a simplification of sex, it's what sex is by fact. We're talking about sex it's self not all sexual acts. I expect to get down voted, people don't like being told their not entitled to sex. You always have to make compromises in a relationship whether you live together or not. I have no problem making compromises on things that are appropriate to compromise on. Wow you must work multiple jobs and have no uni to pay off Not getting to see each other often can be helped by good communication and talking often. Also I feel almost sorry for a fool that sleeps during lectures in med school.

No one is saying they are entitled to sex. You keep making strawman arguments and rearranging the sentences of other people and making statements that are completely true and then subtract something from that that isn't true. Basically you are using so many fallacies that it wouldn't surprise me if this entire conversation would get used for a lecture on them. It's not just getting downvoted, it's not getting upvotes or any comments that support you. Your premise that sex isn't important in relationships is undermined by the fact that so many people find it import in a relationship. I work one job, 3-shifts, 36 hours a week and I went to college. I don't have to pay off college because I live in Belgium (not free, but payable by a standard of one month vacation work (maximum)). Our houses tend to be more expensive though, depending on the location in America. Americans tend to not be able to think beyond America.

Btw, if you haven't met poly people that aren't ok with being in a mon relationship then you haven't met poly people. Then you have met non-mono people.

If you expect or require sex to be in a relationship with someone you are actively believing you are entitled to sex. People only find it important because society is over sexualized and because they feel entitled to sex Lucky and highly uncommon. For me to get a basic apartment and buy food I would need at least two full time jobs. I’m not American. Poly doesn’t mean they are not ok with mono relationships, it means they prefer poly relationships.

I feel sorry for you, Nevereyes. You're clearly sexually dysfunctional and feel the need to make everyone else feel bad for for wanting to have a normal relationship - and sex is one of the pillars of a normal, healthy relationship. But of course you'll read that as "SEX IS THE ONLY PILLAR OF A RELATIONSHIP" because you're committed to your unhealthy and bizarre black-and-white, no-compromise view of... well, pretty much everything, it seems.

i'm not sexually dysfunctional, i'm just able to see that sex is not needed for a healthy and good relationship. further, that it should not be expected

Poly people are ok with mono relationships, for other people. Poly don't need to be in a relationship with multiple people at every moment of the relationship but they do require the possibility of opening up the relationship. So not a mono relationship that is by definition closed off. There is a reasonable expectation of sex in a relationship. Just like there is a reasonable expectation of being monogamous, having children and various other things depending on the group of people you surround yourself with. The standard tends to be the expectation. That doesn't mean it's set in stone, non-negotiable, it just means that you are being unreasonable if you are upset about your partner expecting it. They are allowed to expect it, they aren't allowed to demand/require it and they are also allowed to leave if they don't get it. I don't want kids. It's absolutely reasonable of potential partners to think that I do want kids. I'm not upset by that and I have no right to be upset about that. I will not have children just because my potential partner wants children. They have every right not to go in a relationship or leave a relationship with me after I tell them that. That doesn't mean they just go into relationships with baby-factories. No. Some things are important to a relation beyond love. I would say political leanings, religion, children (want or not) and sex. Some people can move past those subjects, some can not. Both are ok, shaming those decisions is never ok. People find sex important because of reasons you'll never understand. It feels good, it's comforting, it's intimacy, it's fun, it's de-stressing, it's scratching an urge you constantly feel, it's a high, it's cuddling, and you probably don't get those feelings from it. The only reason society is oversexualised is because humans are sexual. If I don't have sex for more then 3 weeks then I feel like putting my hand through a window and it's been like that since I was 9 and didn't even understand the concept what sex was. It's not the same as not reading or not sporting or not driving and to you it probably is. Just a choice to not do something and that's it, the end. If you can do that, then you'll never understand what it's like for the majority of people. But why can't you have a little empathy and sympathy for them? Try thinking of it like an addiction but one you can't kick off from.

"i'm not sexually dysfunctional, i'm just able to see that sex is not needed for a healthy and good relationship. further, that it should not be expected" Are you ******* serious? The vast, vast majority of non-asexuals disagree with you. Clearly sex isn't THE most important part of a relationship, but it is an integral part of a non-asexual relationship. Remember, nobody's bashing you for apparently having your own extremely unusual preferences, but we are bashing you for being unbelievably delusional and comparing normal people with normal desires to would-be rapists who feel entitled to people's bodies. For that comparison alone, you can **** off.

any one who disagrees on the fact that sex is not needed for a healthy and good relationship is a fool. as i've already said i'm grey ace and i have date hypersexual people. they ******* agree with me.

Oh yes, 90%+ of humans are fools, that'll win people over. And really? Hypersexual people are sexually dysfunctional from the opposite angle. Would you expect them NOT to have a warped view of sex? You both have distorted views of sex, deal with it, but don't you dare tell the vast majority of us that we're sex-obsessed or think we're entitled to anyone's body. Also, you're pretty much insulting hypersexual people too, saying that "EVEN" they agree that you're not entitled to sex. But frankly, you're coming off as a troll, so I'm not going to bother arguing further and neither should anyone else.

Poly people are ok with being in a mono relationship, they’d just prefer it not be mono. It is never reasonable to expect sex for any reason. Again there’s a thing called masturbation

If you expect or require sex in a relationship you actively believe you have the right to sex/another persons body. This is the only time I've had people disagree with me on this fact. Maybe Canadians are just more rational people.

Oh my god nevereyes. The fact that you live in not only my country, but my province and are in med school to go into the medical field, it seriously terrifies me. With your position on sex, your lack of empathy, and your warped, illogical, and non-fact based views, you have no ******* business being in that field. Sex is a biological urge for most people, we are sexual beings, this is especially present in the fact that our closest ancestors, the Bonobos, are very sexual animals too. To condemn sexual urges and the feeling of needing sex, to say that satisfying this urge is unnecessary, is completely ridiculous. It would be like not satisfying social interaction. Sure you don't need it, but for many people, it IS unhealthy to go without it. You're in the medical field, have you ever looked up any studies? They show that people in relationships who have active, well satisfied sex lives with each other are not only HEALTHIER than people who don't, but they have BETTER relationships. They also show that single people who are actively sexual, as long as they're safe, are more healthy too. Also, you're a grey ace, being of a sexuality that is not well understood and probably at times condemned, I would expect you to have more empathy for people that are different from you. Many people condemn your sexuality, yet you find it perfectly acceptable to condemn other people for theirs, that's absolutely appalling. Stop spreading your idiocy.

Yes! finally a logical response