Love: Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed... - FML

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 601

You deserved it 4 983

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Same thing different taste

Mixed signals

By marie - 28/08/2023 16:00

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 117

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 211

You deserved it 4 268

A+ for Effort

By Anonymous - 14/02/2017 22:40 - United States - Monroe

Today, being Valentine's Day, I went all out for my wife with flowers, a candlelit dinner, and tickets to a broadway show. The flowers arrived dead, the dinner sucked, and my wife hated the show. Afterwards, I tried to be intimate, but apparently I smelled like a shart trapped in a pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 044

You deserved it 741

By rinakitty94 - 29/06/2015 17:30 - United States - Sunset

Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 217

You deserved it 2 248

Gifts for the whole family

By don’tletthembite - 04/05/2020 02:00

Today, my trucker husband brought home roses for me, toys for the kids and bedbugs for the whole house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 157

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 314

You deserved it 5 111

Romantic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 838

You deserved it 3 166

It's the thought that counts…

By Loveandpoetry - 31/05/2011 21:12

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 921

You deserved it 5 370

By igiveup - 21/12/2012 03:31 - Australia - Sydney

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 020

You deserved it 3 922

By pistonchamp159 - 28/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 717

You deserved it 9 932

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Top comments

Residence_fml 4

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:12

Well that kinda sucks, but be happy he tried to do something. It's apperantly an unspoken rule for women to be happy with what their husbands give them, with the right thought behind it of course, even though it kinda fails. My boyfriend always tries to cook me delicious diner but ends up throwing a main ingredient in I really don't like. I still love the fact he went through all the trouble trying to please me.

nebula748 14

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:14

Those darn pricks.

Comments

kkay_soccergirl 0

Monday 11 April 2011 6:35

oh hey where did you get that scratch from? well..... lol

YwTwss 0

Monday 11 April 2011 6:40

torny horny

rayqaza21 0

Monday 11 April 2011 7:37

did u fall on em?

EmoOrange 0

Monday 11 April 2011 12:41

kinky!

ashmichelle85 0

Monday 11 April 2011 13:12

I see people quoting Poison's Every Rose Has It's Thorn but no one mentioning Bon Jovi's Bed of Roses..."I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses, for tonight I sleep on a bed of nails." lol

Professor59 2

Monday 11 April 2011 21:32

"My husband tried to be romantic. FML." Maybe your life isn't very F'd at all. But hey, go ahead and keep whining until it is!

VikingPrincess19_fml 9

Monday 11 April 2011 23:13

At least he tried!

Prettythick55 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 4:54

Damn! Men can't do shit rt! LOL

carlosestrada1 4

Tuesday 12 April 2011 5:28

I bet he didn't forget..

itsAteenWORLDxo 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 5:37

well its the thought that counts:) lol

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 64

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 679

You deserved it 536

The Top

Today, while drinking with my siblings, my brother said out loud at the pub: “I have to go…wipe better”, then he fucked off and didn’t come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 126

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 730

You deserved it 4 255

Today, I’m trying to recover financially from my divorce by quickly selling my house, but my ex-wife weed-killered the word "Bastard" into the front lawn, and the woman who had put in an offer to buy withdrew her offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 172

Today, I woke up with greasy hair, despite taking a shower last night. After washing my hair several times and it not going away, I realized that yesterday I put aerosol deodorant in my hair instead of hairspray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 294

You deserved it 1 269

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him, "About a dollar?" He said, "Wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 484

You deserved it 3 057

Today, I found myself being jealous of the relationship between Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas on Frenemies. I need a life. I need real friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 613