Sex and Intimacy: Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled... - FML

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 979

You deserved it 7 579

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Same thing different taste

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 513

You deserved it 6 367

You OK dude?

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 3 516

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 181

You deserved it 5 620

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 354

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 215

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 378

You deserved it 3 123

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 351

You deserved it 28 338

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 384

You deserved it 8 015

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 245

Next

Top comments

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 19:00

It sounds like you're bad in bed. I mean, the guy was drunk and still didn't enjoy it. Or maybe he's gay. One of the two.

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 18:02

He probably wanted a footjob

Comments

butterflyhearts 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 7:25

OOORRR he finshed in her and doesnt want her to know. So by saying"im bored" was his oh so clever cover up of his not so clever mistake :P Just sayin because my boyfriend did that to me.

brunettesara5722 17

Saturday 11 September 2010 10:42

ydi for being boring in bed!

areanii 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 1:12

#17: That's what 'intimate' means dipshit. I'm 15 and I know this.

richieflow 3

Thursday 29 December 2011 12:09

Ur used up

kirstyannemiller 4

Tuesday 1 May 2012 21:59

OWhat does inebriated mean?:Q

mashfan6507 17

Tuesday 31 March 2015 13:46

Ydi for dating someone like that. Typical girl

MILF_SUZY 10

Friday 22 May 2015 5:02

THE WAY WEED IS THESE DAYS CAN MAKE MEN NOT BE ABLE TO CUM IF SMOKE IT DAILY TOO. (AND MAKE MEN NOT GET HARD AND NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE BABIES) WOW . HOW MEN BLAME THE WOMAN FOR A MAN BEING A DICK AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PERFORM IN BED. IF YOU STOP DRINKING ALCOHOL AND SMOKING WEED YOU WILL HAVE MUCH BETTER SEX. BECAUSE YOU CAN FEEL THINGS 95% MORE. THOSE THINGS MAKE YOU NUMB. THIS IS CLASSIC BLAMING THE VICTIM.

_awwhellnaw_ 45

Tuesday 30 June 2015 15:47

Don't have sex when drunk. It'll never turn out well.

Berber260 14

Sunday 22 November 2015 1:55

When you drink too much your senses get numb.it's not an FML for you. It's for him.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 410

You deserved it 81 061

Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 626

You deserved it 5 675

Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 486

You deserved it 13 953

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 626

You deserved it 3 933

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 165

You deserved it 3 307

Today, I found a topless photo of my mother on my phone. Thanks, iCloud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 910

You deserved it 4 990