Sex and Intimacy: Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled... - FML

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 979

You deserved it 7 579

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Same thing different taste

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 513

You deserved it 6 367

You OK dude?

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 3 516

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 181

You deserved it 5 620

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 354

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 215

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 378

You deserved it 3 123

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 351

You deserved it 28 338

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 384

You deserved it 8 015

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 245

Next

Top comments

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 19:00

It sounds like you're bad in bed. I mean, the guy was drunk and still didn't enjoy it. Or maybe he's gay. One of the two.

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 18:02

He probably wanted a footjob

Comments

0592635 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 2:56

what a dick

joh04667 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 4:22

you need to get on top for once

deannababy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 1:14

um, thats rude. dump his ass!

Sportsfreak2034 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 0:36

guys are pigs..they dont appreciate sex

Buuured 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 1:57

i wont get bored...

turbogirl 0

Monday 31 August 2009 7:36

I guess that's what happens when he has to **** you with a vibrator because he doesn't have a **** of his own. Hope you kicked his ass.

sux_2_b_you 0

Friday 2 October 2009 5:17

true dat hahahaha

Kelly0 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:25

omg, wow thats so bad. i feel hells sorry for you :| what a bitch fml

smashgrab 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 13:31

Sex is only fun when both people are participating. If I am having to do all the work and she is just laying there, I could get the same effect from a blowup doll without having to deal with the bitching that comes from everyday life! I would have rolled off too!

sevlen 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 5:29

lol fail

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The Top

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 176

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

The Top

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 456

You deserved it 3 489

Today, I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, and was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I must be pretty old, right? Wrong. I’m 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 100

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 689

You deserved it 4 701

Today, my mother bought earrings with marijuana leaves on them to show her love of nature. She won’t believe me when I tell her that it’s a weed leaf, and wants to wear them to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 86

Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 166

You deserved it 11 171

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 167

You deserved it 5 542