Kids: Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener...

By Username - 13/02/2012 21:31 - India

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 911

You deserved it 4 797

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Same thing different taste

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 1 190

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 785

You deserved it 76 002

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 172

You deserved it 12 532

I want to smell feet

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 14:01

Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 160

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 14 911

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 216

You deserved it 52 394

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 620

You deserved it 4 701

By Anonymous - 02/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Spearfish

Today, my dumbass cat sat on a lit candle. The whole house now smells like burnt hair and I now have to clip clumps of wax-burnt hair off his bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 971

Helicopter

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 137

desireev 17

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:09

Cinnamon and corpse! Aaah! The wonderful scent! My favorite! :)

datoismyname 22

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:08

Sounds lovely.

Comments

Breezy4sheezy 2

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:14

Chop him in the throat and ouch him in the stomach.

BIGASSTITS 12

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:18

Another person failed at parenting. You should have your child taken away. Thanks for reading.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:25

The kid hating the human race is an example of bad parenting?

acrilan 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:30

Uhhhh kick his ass outa there and not post it on fml oh and put the smell onna napkin make him pass out when he wakes up beat him with the air freshner and kill him with the broken glass of the lava lamp!

OCDC 9

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:51

Wow I feel like I just read the next big novel. Please continue, I like it so far :)

heath_v 8

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:00

wtf

Honda288 2

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:02

I love your wording of this FML. As for you destructive little bastard of a son; I may suggest smashing what's left of that lava lamp over his head. That will give you a few hours of peace.

mick3446 15

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:06

Your are educated beyond your intelligence...stop being a bitch and embrace your son.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:24

"Your are"? You got bored with using "your" as a placement for "you're" so you decided to use "your are"? What a whole new level of stupidity...

foreveriowa 16

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:14

yeah... so how do you know what freshly embalmed corpse smells like in the first place?

ThecomingofTan 9

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:25

You should bottle that smell and sell it as a Cologne or Perfume, I would buy it off of you. Those Orphans downtown are starting to figure out what Chloroform smells like. Help a brotha out, dawg.