Kids: Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener...

By Username - 13/02/2012 21:31 - India

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 911

You deserved it 4 797

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Same thing different taste

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 1 190

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 785

You deserved it 76 002

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 172

You deserved it 12 532

I want to smell feet

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 14:01

Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 160

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 14 911

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 216

You deserved it 52 394

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 620

You deserved it 4 701

By Anonymous - 02/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Spearfish

Today, my dumbass cat sat on a lit candle. The whole house now smells like burnt hair and I now have to clip clumps of wax-burnt hair off his bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 971

Helicopter

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 137

desireev 17

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:09

Cinnamon and corpse! Aaah! The wonderful scent! My favorite! :)

datoismyname 22

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:08

Sounds lovely.

Comments

EG14_fml 8

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:46

Great. Now I gotta go and google half the words on this FML…

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:48

Is your son Freeze?

Chrissiepoo 4

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:50

What a lovely description. Oh, and I would have smacked your son upside the head. Just sayin'

clutz123 5

Tuesday 14 February 2012 6:04

i like how you use vocab, finally i can see somebody who uses fml has a brain!

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 14 February 2012 6:08

A phreaky lava lamp & weed disguising air freshener? Methinks one is involved in the heavy consumption of chemical refreshment...Any wonder why your offspring is a malcontent?

docscientist 9

Tuesday 14 February 2012 6:17

Op probably likes a fresh smelling house, and who doesn't enjoy lava lamps. But that's ignoring the most asinine assumption, that the son is somehow a malcontent because op might smoke weed.