Sex, Farts and Intimacy: Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking...

By Sadman - 23/04/2011 08:37 - Canada

Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 216

You deserved it 10 816

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Same thing different taste

Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heard to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 722

By Madi - 30/11/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 743

You deserved it 3 625

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 327

You deserved it 4 382

By screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 956

You deserved it 38 509

Great handle!

By I'll Make You FartCum - 02/01/2015 21:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 453

You deserved it 9 133

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 314

You deserved it 5 072

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 168

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 152

You deserved it 2 537

That homely smell

By Bottomless_Pit_for_the_NOMS - 23/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Miami

Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 367

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 3 864

GigaPudding_fml 24

Saturday 23 April 2011 15:56

"Yeah, his father does that too!"

Lopee069 4

Saturday 23 April 2011 15:56

Then stop farting

Comments

stevenmx86 7

Saturday 23 April 2011 18:16

How do you not deserve it? You're the one who farts during sex and apparently thought she didn't notice..

Igor_g5 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 18:19

You fart during sex? What a loser.

ohhaixp 6

Saturday 23 April 2011 18:24

take beno before and there will beno gas :D

rawrchikarawr 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 18:42

Ewwie :/

LostSaiyan 3

Saturday 23 April 2011 19:08

Dutch oven her next time.

Skullcrusher 5

Saturday 23 April 2011 19:13

I think I'd save the fart for after sex.

perdix 29

Saturday 23 April 2011 19:20

Things got really awkward when Mom said, "I know."

Fanyy 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 19:43

Do all white people fart during sex?

docscientist 9

Saturday 23 April 2011 19:57

Care to sleep with a random sampling of 1000 white people to find out?

TaySweetHeart 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 19:44

Now That's Embarassing.

fjretsel 1

Saturday 23 April 2011 19:56

easy just cut in the conversation and say your gf climaxes like deuce bigalow. that would take the attention away from you.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 56

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 685

The Top

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 566

You deserved it 5 949

Today, my flight home was delayed, then cancelled. I've been hiding in the bathroom for almost an hour, just to get a break from my mom's endless stream of celebrity gossip and every other thought that comes into her head, all while she cooks delicious food that I can no longer eat due to severe allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 171

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 525

You deserved it 1 988

Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 523

You deserved it 1 712

Today, after five years of being with my boyfriend, I found out that he is apparently very xenophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 245

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 282

You deserved it 16 327