Miscellaneous: Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in...

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 428

You deserved it 8 667

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Same thing different taste

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 888

You deserved it 9 985

Hygienic

By imfullthanks - 14/03/2009 23:06 - Norway

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 681

You deserved it 7 671

Well played

By anonymous - 05/03/2014 05:43 - United States - League City

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 379

You deserved it 3 641

By I'm stupid - 25/11/2012 15:08 - United States - Naperville

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 611

You deserved it 37 942

By analbel - 05/11/2018 12:00

Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 848

You deserved it 219

Busted

By Anonymous - 14/05/2010 04:33 - Canada

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 096

You deserved it 32 405

By levi Glasscock - 15/04/2011 13:52 - United States

Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 133

You deserved it 2 982

Late arrival

By Nikki Lynn Richardson - 18/05/2020 02:00

Today, I went to the store to go buy a pregnancy test because my period was 7 days late. I get home, go into the bathroom, pull down my underwear, pee and come to find out I'd started my period when I looked at it after peeing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 343

Taking the piss

By allie - 31/05/2021 22:01

Today, my mom forced me to take a drug test while she watched. I couldn’t do it due to nerves, so she grounded me because, "there's no way I would be nervous unless I was doing drugs." Nope, just a shy bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 131

By anonymous - 17/09/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 740

You deserved it 7 346

Hannah_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 2:56

i totally thought it would have ended up as a drug test, not a pregnancy test.

Nuklear 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 2:54

clever.

Comments

JohnnyViola 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:32

:)))))) greenman :)

meddude 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:33

and greenman happens to just be an egotistical idiot that believes he's divine. therefore: epic fail.

sunshyne84_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:35

sounds like some bullshit my mom would have tried to pull, hopefully u had nothing to hide

yeahreally 6

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:36

wow..is that what its come to now?

jlcost05 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:39

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaaha

vitaminsandminer 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:39

hahaha greenman is hilarous thats really clever of your mom but that sucks for you, especially if you are pregnant...

paniclovie 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:40

first off: #6: LMFAO <3333 and wow. piss thief. =O

JohnnyViola 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:41

#39 Technically she didn't steal it...

802_CRU 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:45

greenman worships himself. take that as you will...

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Thursday 10 June 2010 13:05

I worship myself every evening bevore bed. It makes you relaxed.

AntiqueTurquiose 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:45

greenman youre insane it made me lol. wow.. hopefully you arent actually pregnant!

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 484

You deserved it 15 047

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 235

You deserved it 10 106

The Top

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 773

You deserved it 82 696

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 205

You deserved it 3 239

Today, my 6-month-old daughter decided she'd scream every time I'd answer her cries instead of her daddy. He just left for a 12-hour shift at work. Only 11 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 623

You deserved it 477

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 796

You deserved it 5 229

Today, I was FaceTiming with my mum when she interrupted me to ask who 'the man behind me' was. I live alone, so I had a bit of a jump scare moment. She was so proud of her 'hilarious' prank, her laugh still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 83

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 216

You deserved it 5 112