Love: Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep....

By quietsleeper - 13/10/2009 11:07 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 511

You deserved it 2 968

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Same thing different taste

Chainsaw massacre

By sleepless in sleeplessness - 18/06/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snores like a lumberjack. Even when I leave to sleep on the couch, I can still hear her through the door. She won’t go to the doctor because, "snoring runs in her family and they’re all just fine." Yeah, uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 144

Booming

By Whats a Snorlack - 10/04/2023 03:00

Today, my new (and possibly ex) husband told me he is reconsidering staying married to me. He thinks my snoring is “so unlady like” and he can’t live the rest of his life sleeping with a “fucking Snorlax.” I’ve had sleep apnea since my mid 20s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 191

By Sleep Deprived - 25/12/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 198

You deserved it 3 808

Earthquake

By Bolin - 17/05/2021 08:08

Today, I have to sleep in another room, with the door closed, because if I don't, my girlfriend's snoring will keep me awake. I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 132

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 113

You deserved it 41 514

Zzzzzzzz

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 509

You deserved it 2 868

By kingkobrastrikes - 21/01/2015 01:56 - United States

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 517

You deserved it 20 540

When you're in a dream…

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 023

You deserved it 3 098

No Ragrets

By Rodolfo_el - 17/04/2021 10:59

Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 893

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - 21/09/2016 07:17 - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 309

You deserved it 1 226

jmcow 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:17

Sucks man. fyl. You're ex-wife wanted the whole bed to herself. But at least you have a girlfriend now.

allmightyspiff 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:12

Actually snoring can be caused by stress, so maybe thats the problem? http://www.etipsguide.com/snoring-and-stress.html

Comments

BeastOfGevaudan 0

Thursday 15 October 2009 5:16

Whisper? http://smallbeerpress.com/free-stuff-to-read/2001/07/01/meet-me-in-the-moon-room-whisper/

Ninjaface 0

Thursday 15 October 2009 8:56

You know your marriage is in trouble when you make more noise AFTER falling asleep.

MELLLL_fml 0

Thursday 15 October 2009 14:24

your ex-wife was an asshole.

godyourethick 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 1:10

YDI for being whipped.

DarkBlisBT 0

Friday 4 December 2009 8:17

either you used to snore and you dont anymore or she was just being a bitch.

EvilPuggy 11

Friday 21 May 2010 5:56

It is indeed funny.

starberries 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 19:46

The ex-wife was probably lying, but not necessarily. My husband's snoring used to be incredibly loud, and at some point he just stopped doing it and hasn't (regularly) snored in years.

pornchips 10

Tuesday 5 April 2011 9:17

this baffles me. about a month after I moved in with my boyfriend (which would be oct '09) he warned me that he was a loud snorer and his ex wife always had him sleep on the couch. he doesn't snore. zomg are you him!?