Love: Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding...

By roadkill0321 - 07/11/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 503

You deserved it 5 388

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Rosey - 23/07/2014 20:57 - United States - Manson

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 128

You deserved it 3 363

You never know

By Mezzlegasm - 10/07/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "Oh, like you're responsible for a whole family!" She is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 097

You deserved it 51 278

Mrs Nostradamus

By Anonymous - 08/06/2022 02:00

Today, my mum met my amazing new girlfriend, but later said she'd probably cheat on me. She had correctly foreseen my ex would get pregnant against my will, take the child away, and sue for support, which I didn't believe back then. What should I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 23:01 - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 814

You deserved it 3 012

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 342

You deserved it 4 123

By Anonymous - 19/05/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 349

You deserved it 3 196

By Anonymous - 02/12/2010 21:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 566

You deserved it 2 882

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 05:13 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 171

You deserved it 7 288

By divorced - 07/03/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 129

You deserved it 10 451

By M.A. - 25/02/2014 05:22 - United States - Prescott

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. This poses a problem, because her mother is my boss, and we work in an office on the first story of their apartment. Tomorrow I have to decide whether to quit my awesome and only job, or go to work for my now ex's mother in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 107

You deserved it 5 552

faerieworld 1

Monday 7 November 2011 12:10

Relax. It just means if you hurt the daughter her mother will gouge your eyes out with her sharp beak and talons.

phoenixslayer69 4

Monday 7 November 2011 12:07

Run and hide!

Comments

myFMLname 8

Wednesday 9 November 2011 6:30

"It was self defense, your honor."

poppyseed420 9

Wednesday 9 November 2011 11:11

Shes gonna castrate you with a plastic spoon

tranger24 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 1:33

Are you an idiot??? Really you don't know what a hen or a chick let us? You need to go to school.

alkaid 14

Thursday 10 November 2011 13:18

Sounds like big mama

Taiylah69 0

Friday 11 November 2011 3:57

Sounds like a crazy bitch :)

johng1970 2

Friday 11 November 2011 15:22

it means pay her the child support she deserves and don't try to harrass her, or she'll lock you up and let some gay guys harrass you!

angrynegro7 16

Friday 11 November 2011 19:30

Time for some sweet chin music!

princess151617 4

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:21

Dude ur screwed ! Lol

theonlylos 2

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:33

Haters gonna hate. I wouldn't worry until something happens.

arielxo19 0

Sunday 13 November 2011 6:41

Fyl

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The Top

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 527

You deserved it 3 437

Today, I had my third threesome with my fiancée and our friend. We are moving in together and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stop thinking about her lips against mine, or how she feels when we fuck. I wish I had met her first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 928

The Top

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 121

You deserved it 3 089

Today, I got my septum piercing stuck in a bag of cinnamon pine cones at Target. My boyfriend was wearing a red shirt with khaki pants, so all the other shoppers probably thought I'd had to call a Target employee over to "cut" me out of the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 1 571

Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 129

Today, my girlfriend sent a text asking if I think she’s pretty. I replied "Yes, of course!" She then got mad and blocked me. Turns out she'd said "petty". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 508

You deserved it 802

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him, "Where did you go to the potty?" He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 4 076

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 908

You deserved it 6 124

Same thing different taste

You never know

Mrs Nostradamus

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