Intimacy: Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a...

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By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 255

You deserved it 4 111

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 161

You deserved it 3 380

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 942

You deserved it 5 253

By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 963

You deserved it 4 474

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 789

You deserved it 4 727

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 09/06/2015 20:52 - Ireland

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 719

You deserved it 2 841

By itsemilyc - 02/02/2015 19:34 - United States - Byron Center

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 873

You deserved it 4 311

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 730

You deserved it 2 364

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 337

You deserved it 842

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 821

You deserved it 12 095

FML: Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 746

You deserved it 4 426

BrEnNo1023 5

Wednesday 26 August 2009 16:01

self-obsessed, dysfunctional, heartless people. **** her (not literally) kick her out or some shit. don't sit there and take that. DONT.

curryndricegirll 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 16:03

sounds like she wasn't "overzealous", sounds like she was just drunk...and if it makes you feel any better, they probably broke the condom and your roommate will probably either be pregnant or have herpes within a month

Comments

That1FmlReader 0

Monday 31 August 2009 2:45

i agree with the other people, charge the person for the medical bill and make very loud noises just to see if it ruins the mood for them.

FuckUpXNote 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 5:53

Make her pay for the pain she left you in.

1dream_fml 0

Friday 4 September 2009 11:00

What is wrong with ppl? U should get a new room mate :)

1dream_fml 0

Friday 4 September 2009 11:06

Yes, you wash it and give it back nice and clean :)

ilovspicysasuage 0

Friday 9 October 2009 9:59

you secretly liked it... :)

Bublii2012 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 3:32

I would of cussed the bitch out and made her pay for the medical bill! And then I would've been totally turned on by the sex going on in the other room!

xvxblackdahlia 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 3:12

uhhh. sux asssss!!!!

djhazyjewfro 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 18:29

I love all these shitty revenge plots. You guys are the future henchmen of America/Canada. And OP: YDI for not drinking enough milk. Strong bones ya know.