Miscellaneous: Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After...

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 937

You deserved it 5 248

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Same thing different taste

It wasn't me

By curiousorange - 05/07/2009 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 565

You deserved it 3 045

By lonelyboy101 - 27/08/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 908

You deserved it 8 624

Painful

By stupid drunk bitch - 24/02/2016 18:37 - United States - Cobleskill

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 535

You deserved it 5 504

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 22:01

Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 986

You deserved it 1 127

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 00:18 - Netherlands

Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 252

You deserved it 3 177

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 818

You deserved it 3 322

Wake up Boo!

By what a dumbass - 19/05/2022 04:00

Today, my idiot roommate finally realized that a girl who follows you everywhere like a puppy, always wants to talk to you, and "accidentally" sends nudes is into you. Unfortunately, she's since moved on from him. Now I get to listen to him whine about how unfair it all is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 23:00 - Canada

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 029

You deserved it 3 354

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 760

You deserved it 2 069

24788 6

Monday 27 April 2009 12:14

HAHA, I COULD BE THAT GUY!

21yearoldvirgin 0

Monday 27 April 2009 12:18

Ouch, been there. :( My friends have definitely told me before "not to worry, they'll just call this alcoholic they know, get him blacked out, and then bring me in and it will happen." sometimes friends suck... lol

Comments

Tehalon 0

Monday 27 April 2009 13:22

I don't get why everyone is so stuck up and thinks it's wrong to hook up with strangers (and have sex with them). You only live once so live it as you think is best... and if you do reincarnate, well then you can do it multiple times! Win-win.

RPGod 0

Monday 27 April 2009 13:25

It's a freakin joke, dude. My roommate says much worse things

backstagebitch 0

Monday 27 April 2009 13:47

Sounds like the kind of things my friends and I say to each other. It was a joke, lighten up.

icedrake523 2

Monday 27 April 2009 14:08

What #3 said.

Kaileigh 6

Monday 27 April 2009 14:24

She's a sucky friend.

lifesabit 0

Monday 27 April 2009 14:28

#15 Oh noes! She teased the OP and made her cry herself to sleep! Boo-freakin-hoo. When the hell did people get so damned sensitive. I can lmao at jokes pointed at my direction.... but apparently those jokes are proof that someone's life sucks..... so retarded.....

butteredtoast 0

Monday 27 April 2009 14:32

LAME. NOT AN FML. Today, my friend said something that maybe, sort of, somewhat implied something bad about me. FML Get over yourself.

Harajuku_tits 0

Monday 27 April 2009 14:39

she sounds like a kunt

vt_mruhlin 0

Monday 27 April 2009 14:48

Sounds like your roommate went out and you stayed home. If that's a regular occurrence, she might have been trying to hint that you need to get out more.