Kids: Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare,...

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Racine

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 021

You deserved it 5 178

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Same thing different taste

By afather - 14/06/2015 13:41 - United States - Worthing

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 407

You deserved it 6 536

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 770

You deserved it 6 031

Future Darwin Award

By don'tdrinkthat - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 611

You deserved it 4 920

By sickmom - 21/01/2014 11:07 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 631

You deserved it 5 526

About to Popov

By badmom - 27/03/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 339

You deserved it 17 980

By Autocorrected - 26/11/2012 20:13 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 482

You deserved it 3 392

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 945

You deserved it 4 643

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 809

You deserved it 5 337

It burns

By WTF - 16/03/2011 22:05

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 12 569

Big brained

By TiredTeacher95 - 22/01/2022 19:59

Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 102

little_aliceee 17

Monday 13 October 2014 9:31

I wonder how painful it will be when he *****....

Fuaaad1994 31

Monday 13 October 2014 9:31

He is going to regret it when he takes a dump

Comments

LeBandit 20

Monday 13 October 2014 16:04

stings going in....stings coming out

rickaky10112 4

Monday 13 October 2014 16:28

well damn

telli164 30

Monday 13 October 2014 16:49

You birthed it

Branlamb 14

Monday 13 October 2014 17:54

that might just be crazy enough to work...

onepotato2potato 0

Monday 13 October 2014 18:40

You don't call your child an idiot! If he does something dumb then it's your fault bc your the one raising him.

SamanthaThe1st 22

Monday 13 October 2014 22:53

Okay, by your logic, let's say someone is driving a car at 90 mph and kills another person. Who would you blame? The driver or the car?

Thatguy334 7

Tuesday 14 October 2014 7:25

Obviously 57 would blame his parents

Ichiya 29

Tuesday 14 October 2014 12:55

But someone raised them wouldn't it be the great great great great gandparents fault?

beefofwar 4

Monday 13 October 2014 19:43

that sounds like good ole Adams County wisconsinite ;)

palosqueak 19

Monday 13 October 2014 21:09

Natural selection, op.

ChopSuey444 20

Monday 13 October 2014 21:15

I seriously hate it when parents call their kids idiots.

Thatguy334 7

Tuesday 14 October 2014 7:26

Does that stem from your parents calling you an idiot?

shanannygians07 28

Wednesday 15 October 2014 6:49

Good question #80

ChopSuey444 20

Monday 13 October 2014 21:18

You should correct what your kid has done wrong. Telling him his actions are stupid is NOT the same as calling him stupid. Dowvote me all you want but no parent should ever call their kid an idiot. It's insanely psychologically damaging to hear the ONE PERSON who is supposed to always love you call you names.

jayeterror775 18

Monday 13 October 2014 22:02

Actually my mom straight up would tell me if I was being stupid. It didn't damage me mentally at all. I knew that she truly loved me, I knew that she wasn't calling me stupid for no reason, and I knew that I deserved it for some of the stupid shit I did lol. She was the most amazing mom, and I am successful, all because she wasn't afraid to give me tough love when I truly needed it. Parents being soft on their children is the reason so many are growing up feeling so entitled, being spoiled brats, and it is the reason there are so many ****** up kids these days.