By fuq - 22/05/2012 18:42 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 873
You deserved it 2 776
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

xrainbowshadowx 17

Stick one of the toy lizards on the shower wall.

188 3
SuperKnuckels 6

i thought most politicians are shape shifting lizards.

163 3

Comments

Feklfekl2222 32

You could if you were on a track with kits of speedups

0 0
ThecomingofTan 9

Tell your mother-in-law to lay off of those Youtube videos. There is some crazy shit on there. I remember when I first heard about the Reptilian conspiracy, I actually was at work scoping out the random people to see if they had the characteristics of one. But eventually, I rubbed one out and moved on with my life.

1 0
br0ccoli 14

You rubbed one out to reptilians?? That is concerning.

1 0
iilovecokee 6

Is she crazy enough to kill you? No? Ok, proceed to make her believe you are a spy for the lizards. NO! Pretend to be a shape shifting lizard! Buy some contacts at the dress-up shop, casually bump into her making sure she takes notice of your lizard eyes. When you see/sense her alarm, quickly excuse yourself, remove your contacts and act like nothing happen. Let her catch you watching her from time to time. Man, seriously. You could have so much fun with this.

1 0
br0ccoli 14

I want to shape shift into a phoenix with wings of fire and lazer-beam, x-ray eyes and claws that could shred metal. That would be awesome.

1 0
FalconWhitaker 20

But... David Cameron is just NOT lizard-like. A lizard-man would have a pointed face and Cameron just doesn't. I'd say he's more like a newt, really.

0 0
IndieApathy 21

Schizophrenia is never a nice thing to deal with... Perhaps you should get her to see a psychologist, and from there a psychiatrist. If you're lucky, she'll be institutionalised. This will help with her, and get her out of your hair. Just a suggestion...

1 0
drakej 0

It sounds like my highschool spanish teacher LMAO

0 0
KatieKupcake4195 9

This sounds like my paranoid-that-everyone-is-watching-me-and-wants-to-send-me-secret-messages-from-Satan uncle who frequently stays at my house. FYL, OP.

2 0
Noodle911 9

...Are you sure you don't mean red shells? They purposely go after other characters and there's a 50/50 chance of getting hit by your own shell if the others are near..

0 0