Love: Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began...

By single - 01/07/2011 09:12 - China

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 840

You deserved it 4 515

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 650

You deserved it 4 734

A quiet place, please

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 424

By Nomoresandwish - 29/11/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 214

You deserved it 13 465

By GeeTwo - 21/02/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 642

You deserved it 3 071

By unwanted - 24/12/2011 02:24 - United States

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 041

You deserved it 3 694

Never enough

By Discostu80 - 06/06/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered into my wife's ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 851

You deserved it 6 942

You're so vain, you probably think this FML's about you

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 04:00

Today, I was told by my wife of 19 years that all the songs about cheating that she's been playing for a year and a half should have been a good enough hint. Getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 114

Noped out of there

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 11:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and teen daughter are at the point where their monthly cycles have synced, so when I got home and heard them screaming at each other, I quietly closed the door so they couldn’t hear me, and like a coward I hid in my car until the screaming stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 226

Better call Saul

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 07:30

Today, my wife broke the TV during an argument with her mother, but it’s my fault because I "put the TV in such a stupid place" so I should pay for a new one. Anyone know any good divorce lawyers? Stick the number in the comments, I’m so done with her bullshit and her crazy family of assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 153

Dr Phil

By Anonymous - 11/08/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and, like any sane person, eavesdropped on the couple in front of me. The guy was breaking up with his girlfriend, and she was crying. As they got off, I patted her on the back and said, "You can do better, honey." It wasn’t until the doors closed that I realized I had just encouraged my boss's wife to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 533

NeverShoutDana 13

Friday 1 July 2011 18:42

Revenge? When a weight watchers commercial comes on, turn up the volume and give her a look..

StevenJ94 1

Friday 1 July 2011 18:39

Take the hint...

Comments

KickItHigh 32

Friday 1 July 2011 21:26

60, You must that 1 in 3 person.

perdix 29

Friday 1 July 2011 21:47

Looks like she wears the pants in that marriage anyways. After the divorce, maybe you'll get ownership of your balls back.

shelbers04 0

Friday 1 July 2011 21:47

ever heard of a joke? she probably didn't mean anything

millerkidz4 0

Friday 1 July 2011 21:57

get a clue buddy!

hateevryone 14

Friday 1 July 2011 22:10

it probably didn't mean anything. or maybe it did......

AMAZINashleigh 6

Friday 1 July 2011 22:15

Hint hint....

dippin 0

Friday 1 July 2011 22:15

dude that stinks :(

SorrowFull 8

Friday 1 July 2011 23:05

instead of complaining on FML. Talk to her, open some communication, and tell her how you feel about what she asked you to do. Don't sit idly by. go for it. If you love her, then do it.

ElainaCutsYou 0

Friday 1 July 2011 23:11

you should have turned off the t.v., and ****** that bitch up, right then and there.

withered 30

Wednesday 29 June 2016 14:45

Yeah! **** her up, just in case she might think of divorcing you! How dares she even think about having the right to divorce someone she no longer wants to be married to! (in case that was actually true). I guess common sense is not at all that common.

melissa_10 7

Friday 1 July 2011 23:36

have you ever heard of this saying.. “It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared.” shes probably not thinking of divorcing you but you never know what the future holds so she just wants to be prepared just incase it ever does happen :)